Found Family Idiots (oneshot fics) (PLATONIC)

The Diamond Duo's Bar AU

(This Au was created by the SHSL Dodo Bird. And yes everybody is legal here)

(But uh... spicy indications ahead... Daiyakure specifically)

(Mania's POV)

"You doing ok Mania?" Hiro asked me. We had just closed up the cafe after the huge rush of customers,

"Nnnn... fuckin tired..." I groaned. I'm not the best when it comes to customer service, but Hiro's been helping thankfully. He smiled and pat my back,

"Well why don't we head downstairs?" I looked at him incredulously,

"You just wanna flirt with Daiya." He blushed,

"W-What? Noooooooo! I-I just... uhm..."

"Or be flirted on by him." I muttered before hanging my apron up, "But fine. I'm sure Mondo will fix up a drink to cheer me up." I chuckled softly as Hiro smiled. We then closed up shop and hung up the sign for the other entrance before heading downstairs. The loud music played in our ears as I hummed. I looked around as Hiro immediately went to the kitchen where Daiya was. I chuckled before heading to the bar,

"Hey Mania." Mondo said as he fixed up a drink for another customer. I waved to him with a smile as I sat down. Him and Daiya ran a bar together, under a cafe made a while back. Hiro and I work up there, but it gets a bit stressful. It was a steady schedule too. Hiro and I handle breakfast and people who like brunch, Mondo and Daiya handle the lunch/dinner people,

"Yer usual?" Mondo asked me as he grabbed a few bottles,

"Please." I hummed, "Work was a pain in the ass."

"Yer tellin me." He chuckled as he mixed up the concoction, "Had to kick out this one guy who drank too much and tried to get in my pants. I tell ya I was one second away from fucking this guy's teeth up." I nodded with a chuckle as he handed me my drink,

"Do I have to pay?"

"Nah, yer my sis, it's the family discount." Mondo winked as I took a sip. I couldn't help but giggle, he was such a dork sometimes. We then heard,

"What the- DAIYA STOP NO!!" From a flustered Hiro. We both sighed and peeked into the kitchen to see Daiya... deep throating a fucking pickle while Hiro watched, face red. Mondo's eyes narrowed,

"OI!! Daiya don't use the fucking food to flirt!!" He walked over and snatched the pickle before tossing it. Daiya just rolled his eyes and laughed,

"Oh come on Mondo! It was funny!"

"No it wasn't!!" I chimed in,

"Hey, he got the size right. I think that's the funny part." I grinned as Mondo snickered and burst out laughing. Daiya just shoved us out of the kitchen before returning to his flirting. I smiled as Mondo kept laughing. I took the time to look around. As usual, the place was pretty damn packed. The music was loud but thanks to the soundproof walls we installed, it's barely noticeable outside. Mondo then hugged me,

"Size right... fucking hell Mania you pull no punches." He said with a snicker. I giggled,

"What did you expect? I'm your sister after all." Mondo nodded with a proud smile and ruffled my hair,

"Alright you dork." Mondo then returned to work as I sat back down with my drink.

__________________________________

A while later I noticed somebody walk into the bar. It was a fellow student of ours, but not one I recognized. He looked... smug. I don't know how to explain it but something didn't feel right. He was looking around before looking at the bar. I pretended that I hadn't noticed him and sipped my drink. I had already had two drinks but I could handle alcohol well. Despite my size I am quite the heavyweight. However, I must have been given Karma Akabane's -258 luck (A/N: if you understood that reference hats off to you), seeing as the guy was walking right towards me. Mondo was busy with a couple of customers, and Daiya with orders. So it was just me left to handle this guy alone,

"Heyyyy gorgeous~" I felt like puking right then and there, and I wasn't even the least bit tipsy. I ignored the guy's catcall as he whistled,

"Whew I know the forecast said cloudy today, but you my sweetie are reaaaally shining~" I again ignored him, glancing at Mondo multiple times, hoping he'd catch my eye,

"Hey, don't tell the bartender I'm here." His voice got more quiet, "He kicked me out cause I was flirting with him. So what? I just had a bit too much to drink!" I narrowed my eyes. This is the guy that Mondo kicked out. Should I get him? Before I could move the guy grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him,

"Dont worry sweetie~ I promise, I'm just here for a good time~ and by the looks of your drink, you are too~" I debated on punching this guy right now but I caught on to his implications. He thought I was drunk?? Bitch do I look even the slightest red to you, or is your blindness in combination with your brainlessness? I tried to pull my arm away but he kept on pulling me closer. I eventually felt a hand on my waist as disgust shot through my system,

"How about we take this wild night somewhere a bit more private~?" Ok I don't know what this bitch is on but it's clearly making him think I'm interested. Before anything else could happen though, a hand was on the guy's shoulder,

"Hey. I think you should leave her alone." Hiro said in a low voice. I almost breathed a sigh of relief. Better than nobody. The guy looked at Hiro and smiled,

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He feigned an apologetic tone, "This girl is just really drunk! I'm sorry for the misunderstanding! I was gonna call a cab and help get her home!" Hiro glared at the guy,

"Hey. I might be a bit stupid, but I'm not that dumb." He said as he grabbed me and pulled me away from the guy. I never felt more relieved to have the pothead be the one who helps me,

"I know my friends. Mania is not the type to get drunk easily. And if she was, there's no way she'd be any sort of cooperative with you." The guy's face turned red from anger,

"Th-That...! You don't know what you're saying!" He tried to persuade. But Hiro wasn't having any of it. He stood in between me and the guy to keep me safe. I looked over at Mondo and saw that he had helped out the rest of his customers. I made a sort of hissing sound at as he looked over confused, saw the guy, and immediately got pissed. He stormed over and asked,

"What the hell is going on here?!" The guy flinched and looked at Mondo scared. Rightfully so as he violated the number one rule:

Never mess with the Owadas. (Honorary or not ;) )

"H-Hey man!" The guy squeaked out, "N-Now listen I—" Mondo grabbed the man by the shirt,

"Are you trying to fuck with my sister?" Hiro whispered the situation (from what he gathered) to Mondo as his face got more red,

"DAIYA! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" He shouted. Daiya exited the kitchen quickly and cracked his knuckles,

"Is it finally time to beat a bitch up?" He asked with a sadistic grin. Mondo nodded. This will be fun to watch.

It didn't take long for the guy to be blue and red all over before Mondo kicked him out,

"And stay out you pathetic bitch!!" He slammed the door before sighing and hugging me,

"You ok Mania?" I smiled and booped Mondo on the nose,

"Of course I am!"

"Thank fuck..." Mondo sighed. I just chuckled,

"Well, ya gotta thank Hiro, first of all. He was the one who got that guy off in the first place." The two looked over at Hiro who just chuckled awkwardly,

"H-Hey now, anybody would've—" Daiya suddenly hugged Hiro, catching him very much by surprise,

"Awww babe you're just the best!" Daiya cooed. Hiro's face turned a bright crimson,

"B-B-B-Babe??" Daiya just grinned as Mondo and I chuckled,

"I should probably close up the bar." Mondo said as he walked off. I nodded and smiled watching Daiya endlessly fluster Hiro. This bar/cafe might've been a risky idea at the start,

But I've never had more fun because of these idiots.