Therian Diary

Friday, the 24th of April, 2015

I'll start off with an introduction. I go by the name of psychedelic wolf on the internet, except on this platform it was taken. I have been a therian for 5 months now, and it's a bit wonky to say the least.

I have always been obsessed with animals as a child. I loved going outside and running around, normal kid stuff. As I got older, I became a shut in. I did not want to leave my room. I spent most of my time on my laptop, barely coming out of my room other than to go to school. I had repressed the animal feelings from my childhood deep down inside of me. I learnt, from my peers, that it was not normal, and it should be frowned upon to act like an animal.

I stumbled into the furry community. I thought maybe this would be my place to fit in! A bunch of people who draw colourful animals and roleplay together. I signed up on furaffinity, drew some pictures and talked to a few people. I didn't make any friends though.

I decided that being a furry was just not as deep as these feelings went. I had read a few posts on otherkin about a year prior, and I, like many others, thought it was absolute bullshit at first. This person feels like a dragon on the inside? Weirdo. But then I realised... What if I was one of those weirdos?

I did a quick google search and I saw the word 'therian' appear a few times. I decided to google that and then everything just clicked. I wasn't a blue and red sparkly anthropomorphic fuckin dog. It was a part of myself that I had never touched on before. I read for hours and hours, making sure to be knowledgeable on the subject. I had definitely seen all of those 'teen werewolf' videos before and had just thought that they were a bunch of emos. I didn't want to be like those. They didn't feel things like I did.

I'd meditate every single day, trying to discover myself. I found out that my theriotype was a timber wolf, and I'll admit; I found it kind of silly. Everyone was a wolf! And I'd thought long and freaking hard to learn that I might get mixed in with those people who wear way too much eyeliner and post depressing quotes on tumblr about "teh wolf inseid of me!! :(". But eventually that just didn't matter to me anymore.

In July last year, I bought a fluffy fox tail that was dyed red. I just liked it because it was fluffy. I then realised that a lot of therians wear tails to feel more comfortable and more in touch with themselves. A red fox tail just had to do. Today, I got my second tail. It's from a north American coyote. And I love it so much.

Alright, this is nearing 500 words. I will try to update this every day if not every second day. I hope you lost therians out there will take a read and talk to me (im so lonely).

-Psychedelic