Therian Diary

Thursday, 30th of April

Wow! I definitely didn't keep my promise of updating every second day. I got stressed and school stuff got in the way. I might just talk about all the shit I've done throughout the week related to therianthropy here I guess.

To start off, my experience in the forest. I don't get to go to dense forests as much as I'd love to, and the one that I frequently appear at is a 45 minute drive away. As I arrived there I knew it was going to be great for me, because the last time I went to a forest was before I awakened. I saw all those trees stretching for miles and felt at peace. At some points as I was walking I found myself meditating because the surroundings were so tranquil. The whole time, I felt my phantom ears, tail and muzzle in the cool breeze & light rain. I wish I could have worn my tail out there, but there were a few other people going mushrooming and I didn't want to get any looks.

The only times I've worn my tail in a public space were when I had my dyed red tail, and that was with friends & to the shopping centre. And this shopping centre has the most bogan ass fuckin' people I've ever seen, so nobody judged. I'm pretty sure the guy with the shirt with the McDonald's logo on it which read "Get McFucked" got more looks than I did. I was glad the attention was off of me, but I'm still not as confident wearing it as I wish I was.

I just hope I don't appear like the "teen wolves". You know the ones. The emo ones with all of the studded belts and black everything and overdone eyeliner. I have more of a punk/nature kind of look so I really fear that I'm gonna get grouped with a bunch of people who romanticise mental illness. This also brings me to collars and leashes. I get that some people use them to get closer to their theriotype but wolves don't really wear collars unless they're tracking collars for research. I get it if their theriotype is a husky but it was just something I found odd.

About being closer to your theriotype, I've meditated a lot this week. Clearing your mind is such a great way to tap into your inner thoughts and such. This brings me to the part where I get pissed at fakes/teen werewolves. Half of these people probably haven't meditated once in their damn life and they throw away the whole spiritual aspect of therianthropy. Do they just want to be special snowflakes and stand out or something? Because if you're gonna throw away a very very important part of a spirituality then you might as well throw it all away. I don't know, those were just my thoughts.

I also tried to explain therianthropy to more of my friends, but they didn't really get it.. So they just brushed it off. I did speak more to a closer friend of mine and they seem to have a better understanding of what it is now. I still wish I actually had more therian friends, though. I only know two, and one of them I met online and the other one is an old friend who moved schools. Kind of a shame that I hadn't awoken in the time that I knew him. I still wear my little theta-delta necklace even though it's against the dress code. I haven't been told off yet, so I'm guessing it's okay.

And we're on 600 words. I'm going to end this now, and I will force myself to write tomorrow. I hope I can go back up to that forest on the weekend. See you around.

-Psychedelic wolf