Gotham's Finest. Ace & Cro

Chapter Two - A

That was such an interesting date and not so shitty at all yesterday. I went on a date he was actually not a dick. Unlike many of the men I have met in my lifetime. Selina and Pam are staring at me. (Ace): You were pimping me out, Pam? (Catwoman): You did what?! (Poison Ivy): Relax Sweetie. I was not pimping her out. I just spoke to a guy that I assumed would be her type and hoped that she would get over that Floyd bastard I smirk, and they look beyond confused. (Catwoman): Kitty spill (Ace): We went on a date, and it went really well (Catwoman): Aah! That is great news! (Poison Ivy): I fucking knew it! (Catwoman): Pamela, language! (Poison Ivy): Apologies. I am just literally a matchmaker Can they ever stop being so extra? I love them but this is not the time to get excited. I am only being more cautious than ever before. Shit can go wrong when you fully let your guard down and it does not matter how great the date was. (Ace): Pam wanted to set us up on a blind date, Sel. It was a harmless idea Selina calms down and moves her claws away from Pams throat. She grabs a bottle of tequila with some salt and lime slices from the fridge. It might be the afternoon, but it is five oclock somewhere, right? Basically, bullshit excuses but I am wondering what is so bad that she has to tell me since she is taking it all out now. (Catwoman): So you have an important thing to think about, love (Ace): Why do I get the feeling that this is not going to be something fun for me to hear? She takes a shot and hands me my shot glass. (Catwoman): What are you going to tell Harley about him? Since she is your mother and all and that she is back Oh shit. Definitely not something that was on my mind. I take a shot and let it burn down my throat before deciding on what to say. (Ace): What exactly would I tell her, Sel? The last time we saw her she was running from that fucking Joker asshole and so did I. All because of her wanting to show up in my life decades later after keeping me a damn secret (Catwoman): All I am trying to say is that she came back into your life for a reason. At least now she is trying. You will need her if Joker ever comes close to finding you It is a good thing that I made progress in therapy before leaving or else I would have lost my mind by now with what she just said to me. (Ace): I made it this far in my life without her help. I have successfully built my own empire and got us fucking spectacular mansion estates that we get to call our homes now. I pulled us out of that shitty area that we used to live in. I did all of that and spent my whole life surviving without her. Why would I need her to protect me from the homicidal psychopath that she only spends her life running from? Selina nods her head as she seems to be processing everything that I just said to her. I take another shot because this conversation was not anywhere on my radar before I woke up this morning. This is some good tequila though. Pam says that she has to go because she just got a booty call from a party girl that she recently just met. (Poison Ivy): Harley is not a bad guy, Ace. Give her a chance, okay? Just try to get to know her. Bye my babies! I sit down on the barstool in the kitchen and try to think of ways to avoid the entire Joker trying to hunt me down so he can find me and slit my throat situation. Selina takes a walk into the walk-in pantry and the fridges. What is she looking for? She comes back with a straight facial expression. (Catwoman): We need to grab some more food (Ace): Oh no. You are holding a recipe book. This is going to be some gross shit again. I can feel it Our phones buzz and it is an alert coming through. There is apparently a shipment of jewellery coming into one of the big stores today. That sounds like music to my ears. I fetch the car keys and my cell phone. (Ace): Who said shopping cant include some free rewards from a second location? We smirk and get into the car for a drive. I cannot stop thinking about what she is going to make for dinner. Whenever she uses that recipe book then she makes the strangest shit that has ever been made on the planet. I had no choice but to eat it when we stayed together but this time, I have a fully stocked home of my own to get food from that will not destroy my insides. (Catwoman): You see that? Two security guards at the front entrance and back entrance. There seem to be no security cameras of any sort and there is a big crate in the building with some bling for mommy (Ace): Please do not call yourself that again, Sel. So, we are going to take out the front and back guards (Catwoman): Knockout gas? (Ace): Yeah. Then we shoot each one in the chest as lets say an insurance policy (Catwoman): Before we open the crate and grab the goods (Ace): Sounds good to me (Catwoman): Perfectly (Ace): Just in time to go grocery shopping We take out each of the guards and shoot them in the chest to ensure that there are no surprises once we enter the store. There is nobody inside today which is odd, but I dont have a problem with it. You could say that shooting them was a hypothetical cherry on top. At least there are no security cameras that have to be dealt with because that can make this either so much more entertaining or way more annoying. We open the crate and take as much jewellery as we want. I tend to like the diamonds more when they are not going to prick me in my sleep because why would I do that to myself? Then there are the black diamonds that help me sleep at night. Let us not forget the white gold Mmmm so yummy to look at. Unlike the food that is going to be made in an hour. Thank fuck I dont live with Selina because that is just way too hectic for me to handle right now. We leave and go grocery shopping for this recipe book meal that Selina wants to try. (Ace): Why cant you just buy a pizza? (Catwoman): I wanted fish (Ace): This picture in the recipe book looks like green shit busy decomposing on the fish (Catwoman): That is just the spinach purée (Ace): Spinach purée, my ass. That looks more like regurgitated spinach (Catwoman): Dont knock it till you tried it (Ace): I would most certainly not knock it. I wouldnt even want to look at it We go home, and Selina is busy putting all of the ingredients together for the strangest meal that I have ever seen since the last one she made not too long ago. (Catwoman): There is chilli in it so maybe you will actually like it I show her the picture again. (Ace): There is a chilli on it, Sel. One sad looking chilli (Catwoman): Just look at the recipe, Kitty. Chilli powder goes in the fish with the sauce (Ace): I hope you enjoy it I take my phone out and start ordering something for me to be delivered to my place. (Catwoman): Why are you ordering yourself a pizza? I am busy with dinner already (Ace): You are in the mood for something expired-looking and I am in the mood for something more tantalising for the palate (Catwoman): Did you just invite that Cro guy to your place for dinner tonight? I smile and grab my things. (Catwoman): So that is what you implied with tantalising your palate (Ace): What do you think? Time for another date!