Freaks - an MCYT high school AU fanfiction

Chapter 7: Impulse

Just for your information, I'm writing this on Tuesday evening. 

Let's see when I actually end up publishing it...

It's the weekend, a couple of days after I ruined my life. Dramatic, I know. But true. And though it was just horrible luck that I chose the complete wrong time to need the toilet and couldn't escape until I'd heard the entire conversation ensuing between Cub and the new-guy Scar about having magic, deciding to spy again was completely my own fault. 

I'd heard them talk about  meeting. And I'd decided to see where they were meeting. Hypno had tried to get me off the scent, but it had only incensed my plan further. I didn't have to do it, but I still did. I stayed. Hid as they were leaving, tried to keep track of names. For my own information, and no one else. 

And then Cub had seen me, and I'd run off. 

Nothing had happened in those next couple of days until now, when I finally couldn't hold it all in any longer. 

'Skizz, I need advice.' 

My closest friend and roommate is the only person I can think to tell, and I decide to corner him in our bedroom, Saturday afternoon. He turns to look at me. 

'What'ya need help with, buddy?' His innocence and complete unawareness of my situation makes me stop. Do I really want to get him involved? 

'I know something I shouldn't know.' I leave it cryptic. Skizz frowns. 

'How?'

'Accidental eavesdropping. And then intentional spying. And ending up with way too much information.' 

'Ok... can you tell me?'

'No. I... I want to write it down, but I don't want anyone to find it because everyone involved will get into trouble. Like... big trouble. And I don't want to... get anyone hurt.'

'Hey, Impy. It'll be ok. Just keep it to yourself until you forget and... no one needs to know.' Skizz takes my shoulders, trying to look me in the eyes. 

'But... they know that I know. Well, some of them do. And if they tell the others, I don't know what they'd do... I needed to tell you. I couldn't hide it any more.' 

'Listen, buddy. First thing, you need a hug.' Skizz hugs me, and I have to hug back. 'Second thing, don't worry about this. Just keep it to yourself, and no one will blame you for being a bit curious, ok?' 

'Ok.' I echo. 

'For now, we can just relax. It's the weekend. Don't worry about anything, buddy. Hey, let's go down to the shopping district and buy something.' 

'Buy something. Yeah.' 

'Hey, Impy, are you alright?' Skizz expression changes to a much more serious one. 'You're really... off.' 

'I know... it's all too much. I didn't want to be involved in of this... I just... I just couldn't help myself.' I admit. 'I had to find out more.'

'Stop stressing, ok? Breathe in... hold, and out. Feel any better?' 

I nod back, knowing Skizz will stop worrying as much if I do. It hasn't helped. All his worrying had just made me feel worse. I don't feel like I deserve it. Instead, I feel slightly ill, but don't mention any of it. 

'Let's go to the shopping district.' 

It's a busy as expected, the mismatch of mini buildings and terraforming that make up the biggest room of the entire school full of other students and even a few teachers. Skizz runs off, and I have to run after, ignoring the unwavering guilt at what I've done. 

'Look! New paper!' He stops by the stall for the Hermiton Herald, holding a copy up. It's jokingly snatched back by Cub, and he's told to join the queue. 

I catch a glance of Ren and Doc chatting in front of us and avert my eyes. However many disguises the two wear, it won't stop me from knowing what they really are... I stare at the grass beneath my feet instead, until we reach the front of the line. 

'Two copies, please.' I try to smile as Skizz places enough diamonds on the counter to buy it. I realise too late he's paying for mine as well, instead distracted by Scar in the back of the stall, yelling advertisements. 

'Hey! New guy!' My stomach twists with discomfort as Skizz calls him over. 

'Well hello... I don't know what your name is.' Scar gives up after a couple seconds of trying to figure it out. 'I definitely recognise you...'

'Skizz.'

'Scar.' They shake hands. 'Glad to see you buying my friend and business partner's stuff. Very good article on page 5. I helped write it.' 

'Business partner? Already? Cub, don't say you've kidnapped the new guy.'

'We don't mention it in public.' Jokes back Cub, whispering. I force a laugh. 

'Scar! Blink twice if he's making you do anything!' I call over. 

'No kidnapping going on over here! Though we could kidnap Grian... Cub, should we kidnap Grian?' Scar gasps with a childish excitement. 

'Absolutely. Go kidnap Grian and I'll give you all my pay for today.' 

'Alright! Bye Cub! Bye Skizz and Impulse!' Scrambling to get out of the shop, Scar runs off. I can't help but properly laugh at his antics. 

'Come on, Impy. Let's see what else is for sale. We're causing a queue behind us.' Skizz pulls me away and with a small yell of protest, I break free, running to catch up and letting False haggle for a lower price behind me. Knowing Cub, she'll end up paying double, but I don't tell her that, turning to face Skizz.

'Where else should we go?' He asks. I shrug back, falling into a walk next to him. 

'Uhh... let's just see if anywhere catches our eye.' I suggest, keeping up with facade of happiness.  Skizz agrees, and we continue looking, ending up between Tango's rocket shop and Grian's barge. 

'Right, Impy.' Skizz stops and I realise he's caught onto my unhappiness. 'I can tell your just pretending to be happy.'

'I don't know what to do.' I admit. 'I just don't know what to do. And I can't stop thinking about it... and I keep seeing people involved and...' a frustrated growl leaves my mouth. 'I can't deal with this. I just can't deal with this.' Skizz is at my side before I realise I'm crying, hugging me, repeating over and over that everything will be ok. I try to tell him I'm alright, but keep crying before I can complete the lie.' 

'Impulse, this isn't your fault.' 

'I didn't have to go and find out more!' I choke out. 'I didn't have to act like such a... a... f***ing idiot.' 

'You're not an idiot.'

'Stop lying.' 

'Impulse, you're not an idiot. You're my friend.'

'Then why did I do it?! Why wasn't I thinking?!' I push my way out of the hug. Skizz steps away, a look of sympathy on his face. 'Ever since I caught Cub and the new guy talking-'

I said their names.

I said their names. 

'Oh my goodness why did I say that?' Is all I can find to cover it up. Skizz frowns. 

All I can do is run away.

Impulse angst :)