Cycle Of Love Series #5: Love and Crosses

90

"Eight, seven, six, five and sway . . ."

I was having a typical day inside my room, trying to study a new choreography. This choreography was challenging for me because of it's steps so I'm thrilled to study this one.

Napatigil ako sa pagsayaw nang bumukas ang pinto ng kuwarto ko, pinapakita ang pigura ni Papa roon na may hawak na papel.

"Dad, what brings you her-"

"What is this?!" Hinarap niya sa akin 'yong papel. It was my report card. "Is this even a grade? Why did you failed in History?"

Napatingin ako sa sarili kong grado. It did went down. From 98 last quarter, it became 95 this quarter. Medyo nahirapan kasi ako sa lesson namin. Plus, our wedding prep was so hectic these days.

"I'm sorry." I couldn't say anything other than that.

"You're sorry?" Dad unbelievably asked. "You're sorry yet you still have time to do that stupid dance? If you're truly sorry . . . Go study!" sigaw niya habang nakaturo sa study desk ko.

"But, why?" For the first time, I talked back to him. "Why must I study the whole time?" I also looked at him in his eyes, for the first time.

"W-What did you just said?!"

"Bakit kailangan ko lagi makakuha ng mataas na grades? Am I going to die if my grades went down three points?" Hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya. "Why? Why can't I do the things I love? Why can't I voice out myself? Is sharing my opinion is that bad, Dad?"

I was starting to tear up but I still maintained my eye contact with him. Tahimik lang siyang nakatingin sa akin, sapilitan na nakikinig sa mga salita ko.

"To be honest, I don't want this marriage, Dad. It's not like I don't love Zye, the marriage was too early for the both of us!" Tuluyan na akong naiyak. "Do you even cared if we have dreams we want to achieve? Tinanong mo ba kung gusto pa namin i-enjoy ang kabataan namin?" Umiling ako. "Hindi! You didn't asked us and pushed us into adulthood instead even if we're not ready. That goes with the both of us."

"Dad . . ." I called him bitterly. "Can you please let us enjoy our lives? Can you please cut the leash you tied to me and let me have freedom?" pakiusap ko.

"I have many plans ahead I want to do, you know . . ." I wiped my tears and looked down. "But I couldn't do it because you were taking away my freedom."