Love me 'Til it Hurts

Chapter 37 - Decorating & Bonding.

Half an Hour Later...
Juliette Ackles...

The house has been plunged into silence since Jensen stormed out of here and Rayne retreated back to her room. I didn't know what to do. I hated that this had happened. I hated that this feels like all my fault. Although logically, I know that isn't the case. I have done nothing wrong. I fell in love and just because it isn't conventionally, my brother is throwing one Hell of a fucking hissy fit.

And the thing about my brother is - if I show even an inch of doubt, he will expose it and use it to rip my resolve to pieces. And if I give in to him, even slightly, he will rule over every aspect of my life, and I am damned well sure that I am not allowing that to happen.

I love Jeremy. I love Cal. And they love me - I don't give a shit what other people will think of that. I don't care what they will say about it because at the end of the day they aren't in my shoes, they don't feel what I am feeling. All I care about is the people who are a part of my everyday life. So, to hear Jensen call me a whore - that cut me deep. Of all the people in the world that I wanted to take my side, to see how happy I am and be happy for me - Jensen was at the top of that list. And now, well now I would be happy if I didn't see him again for a really long time.

"I'm going to check on Ray," I said moving towards the stairs, "would you guys' mind getting everything set up to start?"

"Of course, baby," Jeremy nodded and then he and Cal set about doing exactly that; opening out the papering table, grabbing the bucket for the paste and opening the brand-new rollers that they obviously purchased while out getting the paper and paint.

We were lucky in the sense that the walls were prepped and ready to be worked on, all we really had to do was apply a white base paper for painting and we were good to go. This was one of the reasons that we fell in love with this place - it was a blank canvas for us to stamp our mark on and thankfully Ray and I shared the same tastes decoratively speaking. I was so excited to get it done because then the place would truly feel like ours.

Kicking off my slippers by the large bench-seat at the front door, I silently padded up the stairs - the whole house had hard-wood floors except for the bedrooms where there is thick, luxurious, and soft carpet in neutral colours.

Knocking on my best friend's bedroom door, I could hear her sobbing quietly inside, "I'm coming in ok, Ray?" I said, trying to keep my voice as soft and comforting as possible and when I got no response from her, I gently pushed the door open and let myself in.

The curtains were closed, casting a nice natural glow to the room, the scent of her sweet, lily-scented perfume clung to the air. There were boxes lying around where she had sorted them into what appeared to be piles and had started to make some progress in unpacking, unlike me. Curled up on her side, I could see her shoulders shifting with the sobs that were controlling her. Moving silently, I climbed on the bed behind her and wrapped my arm around her, then just let her cry.

I didn't speak; not to ask questions, not to promise that things would work out and definitely not to defend my brother because, well, his actions had been absolutely disgusting this morning. Not just towards me and my guys, but towards Rayne too - he had been incredibly disrespectful towards her, and I know that is not something that Rayne will ever accept, regardless of Jensen is to her.

"You know, I thought I was over the past," she finally began to talk, her voice trembling as she fought the tears as best, she could, "but today, well it just dredged up a whole bunch of feelings that I didn't even realise I still had-"

"Like what, honey?"

"Like the fact that he just made the decision to end our relationship all those years ago, there was no discussion, there was no alternative ideas because he just decided and I had to go along with it," she admitted, and I could feel myself cringe.