Love me 'Til it Hurts

Chapter 27 - Round Two?

The Following Morning...
Juliette Ackles...

Have you ever experienced that weird feeling where your brain has woken up before your body is ready?

It is the most bizarre feeling in the world - it is almost as if my body will simply not adhere to the commands of my brain. I feel heavy and limp, almost like dead weight as my brain scrambles to get into some semblance of control of my faculties.

Flashes of the previous night invade my waking up process. Jeremy on top of me - the almost unbelievable way his body seemed to just click into mine, the look in those steel-blue eyes of his - his love shone with all the vibrancy and desperation of first love.

Was that even possible?

Could I be his first love? As he is mine. I know that better than I know anything else in my limited experience of relationships and sex. It was a conclusion that just hit me last night, the weight of him against me, his gaze locked on to mine with pin-point accuracy, the delicious stretch of my cunt as he speared me with his beautifully talented cock.

Sunlight pierced my eyelids; burning away any chance of me going back to sleep, as the soft rumble of breathing fenced me in on either side of my body. The heat of a hand pressed against my hip while the heavy band of an arm wrapped over my waist. Two extremely masculine scents swirled around me - I can't recall a moment where I felt so completely relaxed and the sense of safety sizzled along my body. Sandwiched between my two men - I know this is crazy. I know that what we are doing is going to drag us much unwanted attention but that isn't enough to make me want to stop.

Honestly, there are only two opinions that matter to me. Rayne - that girl is my ride or die, Hell, we are moving in with one another today. It has been nothing short of a living fucking nightmare keeping this from her, but I saw the way she was assessing me and Jeremy last night, I know that she knows something is going on, but I also know that there is no way that she realises exactly what is going on; how could she? This arrangement is hardly one that you hear about in acceptable society settings. Good thing we have a plan for today and tonight, maybe I could take the step and explain it all to her. That is something that I am going to need to discuss with Jeremy and Cal first though.

Then there is Jensen - my big brother, who let's face it is far more than just my brother. Ever since we lost mom and dad - Jensen has stepped up and even put his own life on hold to ensure that I was as supported as much as mom and dad would have supported me had they survived that fucking car-crash that took them from us. I can't forget the way he has put his life on hold for me, I won't forget it. It is simply because of him that I have managed to remain in the home where mom and dad raised us. It is because of him that I didn't end up just another number in a system that is beyond flawed. I shudder at the thought of what may have become of me if Jensen didn't do what he did. I mean you hear horror stories about the foster-system - degrading stories of abuse of all formats.

So, you see I owe my brother for all he has done for me. That was why Jeremy and I both agreed that telling him too soon would only result in all three of us being ripped apart. It was more important that we approach my brother like a fully-connected unit. That way he won't be able to deny that this works. It works for us and that is all that matters to me. I suspect it is the same for Jeremy and Cal.

After last night, I can feel the connection between us solidified, almost, to the point of unbreakable. It would be truly unbreakable once Cal and I manage to have sex. I just know it - like some sort of magical binding that will forever be etched in my heart. Making me theirs wholly.

"Jesus Queen, I can hear you thinking even in my sleep!" Cal's soft rumbling voice tore me from my thoughts.

Queen. Cal has been calling me that all night - even through our discussion about how this was really going to work in the long-term. We talked until all three of us simply couldn't talk anymore - and I think we have come up with a plan. Or at least a plan that I strongly believe could work for us.