Love me 'Til it Hurts

Chapter 45 - Actions over Words.

Meanwhile...
Rayne Saunders...

Jensen was still a little tense from being in my home with his little sister and Jeremy there. I could feel it as it permeated the air of the cabin in the truck as he drove - his knuckles white against the stark black of the steering wheel. The overactive tense of his jaw and I was worried he was going to grind his teeth to ash. The coiled manner of his arms and shoulders. I shouldn't be, but I am so turned on right now. My man is obviously hurting and here I am objectifying him – fuck, way to be a creeper, Ray! I scolded myself.

My restraint should be at fucking Olympic gold levels right now. Hell, I should have been given a fucking award for my restraint. I literally ache - an insistent throb in my core persists to the point of distraction whenever I am around this man. That being said, there is also a comfort in that because that is how he has always affected me. It is also part of the reason that I am fighting so hard for us. And part of the reason that Mr. Vibrator has found himself defunct. Nothing is as good as the real thing and no matter how hard I try to imagine that it is in fact Jensen – it's like my body is screaming no it's not and I haven't had a climax since we stopped sleeping together.

Turning to look out the window of the cabin as he drove us towards the city limits, his window rolled down allowing the cool breeze to cool the fire inside of me, and possibly calm his anger.

The closer we got to the city limits, the more barren the land became - rolling fields of farmland, horses pasturing along with cows and other farmyard animals stood out in the under populated area. I loved our little town, as a suburb of Dallas, we were close enough to the action of a big city without being in the heart of it. We took a turn on to a dirt track right next to the giant water tower - now I knew exactly where we were going, and my heart kicked up the frantic rhythm that I have always associated as my heart confirming his impact on me and the importance of just who he is to me.

My heart. My soul. My love.

The truck bounced over the uneven terrain as he drove like he knew this road like the back of his hand and I had to believe that he probably did - as teenagers we had spent so much time up on make-out hill, Hell that was where I lost my virginity to him. It was our spot.

However, it was a popular spot for all teenagers, and I feared that we were about to drive into a scene from Grease - cars rocking, windows steamed, cheesy ballads caressing the air.

But we weren't coming here for sex. Or at least I hope that Jensen knows that we are not having sex here. Not tonight. Maybe in the future we could revisit this piece of our storied history. We had so much history that I swear it would make for a good cheesy romance novel. The smile spread over my face at the thought just as Jensen finally broke free of the almost overgrown dirt track and into the clearing where he drove the bed of his around in a circle to back the bed of the truck into position where we could look down on the twinkling lights of her hometown.

"I hope you don't mind-" he began, turning to look at me and the hope in those eyes nearly floored me, "but I wanted to be alone with you. Just so you know I am not expecting sex. I know you aren't ready yet, I just wanted to be somewhere off the grid for a little bit,"

"Hey, you know I love it-"

"I do and we have a lot of happy memories here, right?"

"Of course, we do baby," my voice felt suddenly choked up, the emotion threatening to spill out of me.

"Come on, I have a plan," he pushed his door open and hopped down then practically ran around to my side before I had the chance to jump down.

Hands on my hips, he helped ease me down to my feet from the high-rise cabin. This truck was huge, and I know that the only reason he kept it was because it was one of the very last things that his parents gifted him. My body pressed into his as he slid me down to my feet and God help me - he was all hard and soft in all the right places. Sliding his hands into mine; lacing our fingers together in a loving manner, he leant in and placed a light, affectionate kiss to the tip of my nose. My heart jumped around like a fish out of water deep in my chest.