Silent Pain : Landokuhle's Story

Chapter 02

#02 - Devastating News.

All I can say is the lunch didn't go so well , his father kept throwing unnecessary shade towards me and that pissed my brother to the core while his mother tried being more welcome and warm towards me. That man sure did insult me and it's mostly because I was wearing pants and when he questioned me about wearing pants while going to meet my boyfriend's family , I told him that I didn't have to wear a skirt because I'm not a wife , only wives mind what they wear in their in-laws households , Mnqobi and his wife obviously clapped for me while MaRhadebe was amused but the man turned sour. Besides Bab'Nxumalo's behaviour I had a great day. Yanga was now driving me to my parents house and I asked him to stop by the mall close to home so I could get a few things. He accompanied me to Woolies where I got a big chocolate cake for me and mom cause we the only ones who love it , I got two tubs of tinroof Ice cream , two bottles of wine and I bought some other small things for my brothers and dad's biltong. We go back to the car and drive off. Twenty minutes later he is parked outside the gate.

Yanga : "I'll call you." I nod and try kissing him but he turns his head and my lips land on his cheek. I grab my plastics and get out of his car , he immediately speeds off with his hip-hop music blasting , leaving me shocked. Anyway I walk inside the yard and walk to the door. I go enter through the kitchen door and I'm met by shouting coming from the lounge. I carefully place the plastics on the kitchen counter making sure to not make noise.

"You selfish Noluthando! Why..why won't you let us tell the kids huh? You want them wondering why you left us one day and I'll be left to answer all the questions , I don't care what or why but I'm telling them." That's my dad's voice shouting. Aibo , I've never heard them argue so whatever it is , it must be hectic and very serious.

"Muzi , you don't understand! I don't want my kids seeing or treating me like a patient more than their mother! You think I want this? Huh? You think I made myself sick!?! I also didn't ask for things to be like this Muzi !! I collapsed right infront of you , the doctor diagnosed me with you right there and now you want to blame me for being sick? Something I didn't ask for? Something I myself never thought might happen to me?! I'm sorry that I'm sick Muzi , I'm sorry that I'm sick and I have limited time on this earth to spend with my kids and husband." My mom speaks while crying. Our eyes meet and I'm shaking with tears and mucous all over my face , I run out the door knocking something on the table and Ihear it fall and break.

Mom : "LANDOKUHLE!!!" I hear her shout but I don't stop. I run to the backyard, to the far end where there's a garden. I notice my brothers playing basketball and laughing carefreely in the ball court. They will be more hurt by this , they still need mama around , who am I kidding we all still need her no matter how grown we are but we do. I want mama to be there when I graduate , when I'm getting married , how is it fair that she got to see all her other children get married but won't witness me or my brothers one day.

"Landz." I quickly wipe my eyes and turn to them with a big smile.

Me : "Hey yous! I missed y'all so much." I say hugging them by force as they try to wiggle out of my embrace.

Sim : "No bruh! Stop lay off me!" I laugh cause mom always says that.

Me : "shut up! Cause I know y'all miss me." They roll their eyes.

Lele : "I'm going inside , I'm hungry mina." He says walking away and his almost twin follows him.

Sim : "Me too!" I make an excuse to them , to leave me outside. I decide to take a walk so I walk out through the small back gate and stroll around until I'm in the park , the time reads 19:00 on my wristwatch and I don't even have my phone with me.

After some time I walk back home and the time was now 21:30 , I'm never scared of walking in these streets cause it's 100% safe plus no-one just enters these estates , you have to pass through some guards and there's always securities patrolling on every street. I get in through the small back gate and slowly enter through the kitchen door where I'm met by mom's red puffy face and eyes. Our eyes lock and she sniffs with her lips trembling , I throw myself on her and we weep together.

Mom : "Landokuhle sisi can we talk please baby." She says softly.

Me : "Not now mom please." I walk away from her and run to my room and lock myself in. I'm crying while taking my clothes off and I'm left in in my underwear only , I get under the covers and sleep.

###

I'm woken up by a loud knock , I groan and sit up then get out of bed grabbing my gown and putting it on then open the door , mom stands there with a tray of breakfast. I let her in and she sits on my bed.

Mom : "It's still hot so go shower and you'll find me here." She says sternly , I nod and grab my necessities and go take a shower. I go back to my room and I find my bed already made and clothes already laid out for me on the bed. It's my bear print bodycon dress , a plus plaid blouse and my white Jordan sneakers. I get dressed fast and I must say I look good , I leave my braids loose and put on a white bucket hat.

Mom : "Eat up , don't mess yourself up." I nod and start eating while mama is watching me and pressing her phone on the side. I finish then go brush my teeth and when I return to my room , she's still there. She grabs my hand and we walk downstairs , she is in a nude bodycon dress with a denim jacket and sneakers. She puts the tray in the kitchen and grabs her purse from the couch and we walk out. We get in the car and drive off. She parks in front of a small practice , we get out and we walk towards the entrance with her holding my hand , I've been silent since I woke up.

Receptionist : "Hi Mrs Dlamini. The doctor is ready for you." Mom nods and thanks her , we walk towards a closed door and she knocks then opens the door and we walk in.

Doctor : "How are you Mrs Dlamini." She smiles as we sit down.

Mom : "I'm good , still tryna digest the news."

Doctor : "You don't have to stop living your life now , I think now is the time to do everything you haven't done , make the best of your life especially with your family." She smiles and nods looking down playing with her hands.

Mom : "You know I don't know where to start , I'm so scared." She says crying softly after releasing a faint chuckle. Now I feel bad for even being angry and acting the way I was when she needs our support more than anything and it doesn't help that dad also blamed her and lashed out on her yesterday.

Doctor : "Listen , it's okay to be scared. It's understandable but don't let that fear control you or how to live your life. There's much more to life than focusing on your illness." She sniffs and wipes her eyes and nose.

Mom : "Thank you for listening."

Doctor : "You don't have to thank me , it's okay and you can pop in anytime if you need anyone to talk to." Is he trying his luck with my daddy's wife?

Mom : "Thanks. I just came here today to find out more since we left like that yesterday."

Doctor : "Very well then , uhm your husband?"

Mom : "he's still upset and angry at the world." She says chuckling lowly and sadly.

Doctor : "He'll come around. Okay so your results confirmed that you are on stage 4 of ovarian cancer. You need to start treatment right this instant and it's a must before more damage is done to you." She nods.

Mom : "Am I dying?" She asks in a shaky voice , I'm softly sobbing with my head on her lap. The doctor exhales loudly.

Doctor : "Unfortunately yes. You still have time with your family though."

Mom : "How much time?" She sounds so calm and I don't like it cause it's like she has accepted that she'll die.

Doctor : *breathes out* "For stage 4 ovarian cancer, the 5-year survival rate is 30.3% ." Mom nods.

Mom : "How and when do I start my treatment. Will I be fetching it from you or do I have to get my own oncologist?"

Doctor : "In the meantime I will give you a prescription and you'll get it from a pharmaceutical then I can recommend or refer you to a good gynecologic oncologist."

Mom : "Okay thank you but I think I'll get my own gynecologic oncologist." She says standing up.

Doctor : "Very well then Mrs Dlamini. Safe trip and all the best." They shake hands and we walk out in silence.