Silent Pain : Landokuhle's Story

Chapter 17

#17

It's Saturday! I'm on my way to Sis'Zamo's house for our siblings get-together , she's hosting. I must say though I'm a but excited cause I'll get to see my siblings. I park my car next to Sim's then get out , Umi runs to me as soon his eyes land on me. I crouch down and catch him in my arms , the other brood follows and throw their little bodies on me almost knocking me down.

Umi : "We missed you Ncane!"

Me : "I missed you guys too." He grabs my hand and leads me inside , the others have turned and went to play. We enter through the lounge and it's empty , we go to the kitchen and all the ladies are there.

Me : "Sanibonani." I greet , they all scream making noise so I assume they already drunk. They all hug me and as usual  Sis'Khanya and sis'Ndabe are crying.

Sis'Zamo : "Thank you for coming baby." I roll my eyes at his formal she sounds. I go patio and greet all the guys , they also make noise then hug me. Mnqobi doesn't wanna let me go , his arm is around my neck and he keeps kissing my head.

Mnqobi : "let's go."  He leads me to the guestroom and closes the door. .

Me : "Why are we here?"

Mnqobi : "I'm sorry. I can never explain how sorry I am for letting you take care of our younger brothers while mom and dad travelled slot trying to heal mama. I'm really sorry." He kneels infront of me and hugs me tightly , I hear him sob.

Me : "Don't cry bruh."  He calms down and hugs me then walks out , I follow him. The table is already set and everyone was settling. I'm sitting in between Simphiwe and Lele.

Bhut'Asante : "How have you been Lando?"

Me : "I've been good thank you bhuti."

Bhut'Zwe : "We missed you." I smile.

Me : "I did too."  I've been holding Sis'Khanya's baby since we started eating. She's a few months old , her name is Nonkanyiso Sibani Mchunu.

It was now me and my siblings and the makoti's , my sisters husbands chose to sit outside with all the kids.

Sis'Zamo : "Landokuhle. I am sorry. I'm sorry that you had to take over my role when umama was sick. I was suppose to be the one making sure that the young two were okay and well kept but you did. We were very selfish for letting you carry such a burden alone when you also had school. We never even showed moral support , we just left you like that. I am sorry mntaka mah." I nod.

Lethu : "Sisiza omncane. You had to take care of umama alone with dad and that was very wrong of us as your older siblings." They all apologize.

Me : "Honestly I am really angry at you guys , y'all don't know how hard and emotional breaking it was seeing umama get eaten by cancer every single day ; how she'd some of the days wake up okay and happy and try to be the woman we knew her as growing up or when she wouldn't even have the energy to go to the toilet because of the pain she was in. It hurt watching umama slowly losing all her weight , watching her cry while in pain because all her older kids didn't bother nor care that she was dying. She made sure to make those last five years to be memorable and normal for us. She'd force herself to be strong even when we saw that she was in great pain. She was slowly losing the life in her but she made sure she didn't let it get to her. When I first heard about her cancer , I had come home for the holidays and I found them arguing with dad ; they didn't even notice me. They argued so much and she saw me. The next day she took me with to the doctor to find out more , I was there when the doctor told her that she might be lucky to get five more years on this earth and she was determined to spend those years with all her kids as much as possible only for y'all to not even give two ducks about her. She onced collapsed and the doctor told us she might die sooner of she keeps stressing too much , she had been stressing about you guys. She thought y'all were angry at her for having cancer , something she also never knew she might have nor she control. On top of everything , after mama's funeral y'all continued with y'alls lives just like that ; y'all never even bothered to come back and check on us but y'all came back to judge us on how we chose to grieve umama especially after we saw her losing life everyday! Ay cha!"  My tears are just pouring and they all crying.

Sis'Ndabe : "We really apologize Lando , it...."

Me : "CAN YOU PLEASE?!!?! Please stop with the sorries! Just let me heal properly , do not rush me please."  I rush out to my car. I get in and drive out in speed.