Love and Pretensions (Published Under PIP)

12.

"So I have a list of rules." seryosong sabi ni Kai at inabutan ako ng papel. Nakakunot ang noo kong kinuha 'yun at binasa.

'Rules ni poging boyfriend' was written in bold letters. Mahina naman akong natawa at pabirong sinipa ang tuhod niya.

"Ang dami mo namang alam!" reklamo ko. Natatawang umupo siya sa tabi ko at yinakap ang baywang ko, dahilan kung bakit ako napapitlag sa gulat.

"S-sorry, I think I went too far." kaagad siyang napalayo at kita ko ang pag-aalala sa mukha niya. "Was I too, uh, touchy?" he asked hesitantly.

Sa ilang buwan na naming mag kaibigan ni Kai ay naging normal sa'min ang ilang bagay tulad ng pag akbay, pag hawak ng kamay, pag yakap. Pero ngayon niya lang ako yinakap sa baywang ko kaya hindi ko naiwasang mabigla.

"I-It's okay, uh, nagulat lang ako." ngumiti ako para ipakitang okay lang ako. Wala naman talagang problema sa'kin, nabigla lang talaga ako.

He nodded and smiled back pero may distansiya pa'rin sa pagitan namin. Napabuntong hininga ako at naalala ang plano. I need to act like I love him.

I hesitated at first but I brought myself to move closer to him and hug his waist. sumandal ako sa dibdib niya at tumingala para makita ang mukha niya. "I told you, it's okay."

He sighed and smiled before wrapping his arms around me. He kissed the top of my head and sniffed my hair. Napangiti naman ako at mas hinigpitan ang yakap sa kanya.

We spent the rest of our vacation by strolling around the beach and exploring the place. Lumabas din kami ng resort para makita ang iba pang bahagi ng baybay.

Umuwi na din kami pagkalipas ng limang araw. Ayaw pa nga sana namin pero kailangan na niyang bumalik sa trabaho at ako naman ay may meeting kasama ang dati kong management, tungkol 'yun sa bago kong project.

"Good morning, Avery. We're glad to have you back." bati ni Direk Jonah, siya madalas ang direktor ng mga pelikula ko dati.

"Good morning." simpleng bati ko pabalik at bahagyang ngumiti. Pinaupo muna niya ako sa isang upuan sa harap ng isang mahabang lamesa para daw antayin namin saglit ang mga makakasama ko sa pelikula.

I took my phone out while waiting. May text pala ako mula kay Kai,

Kai:
Hello, love. Nasa office na ako. Ikaw?

Bahagya akong napailing. Nasanay na 'to sa kakatawag sa'kin ng 'love', ah? Dati Autumn, ngayon iba naman. Ano naman kaya sa susunod?

Me:
Nasa station na, inaantay nalang namin mga makakasama ko. I'm kinda nervous. 'Di ko pa alam kung anong role ko.

Kai:
Sila ang dapat na kabahan sa'yo!
Good luck, love! Punta ako sa condo mo mamaya, tell me everything that'll happen.

Napangiti ako at magre-reply na sana pero nakuha ng bumukas na pinto ang atensyon ko. I saw Bethany smiling widely while talking to Direk Jonah.

"Uh, what are you doing here?" hindi ko napigilang tanong. Don't tell me kasama ko siya?

"She's the main lead, Avery." si direk na ang sumagot sa tanong ko. My mouth gaped open along with Bethany's smirk.

"What? Did you really expect you'll be the star?" mapang-uyam niyang sabi.

I honestly did!

"I was just shocked. Hindi kasi bagay sa'yo ang maging bida. Pabida siguro, pwede pa. Tutal ay bida-bida ka naman." I fired back and smiled softly. Nabigla 'man ay hindi ako magpapatalo sa kanya.

"You're just mad because I outshined you. It's no surprise though. I'm better than you." she looked at me from head to toe. "So much better than you."

"You sound insecure. Are you sure about the things you say? Baka nakakalimutan mong sumikat ka lang dahil sa ka-loveteam mo?"

What I said was like a trigger for her. Kaagad kong nakita ang pagtiim ng baga niya, sapat na 'yun para matuwa ako.

Totoo naman kasi! Sobrang sikat kasi ni Roi, 'yung ka-loveteam niya, kaya nadamay na din siya sa kasikatan. Pabuhat amputa.

-

"It was just an orientation about our upcoming movie. Next week pa ang contract signing and all. Ayaw ko na nga sanang ituloy pero sayang naman 'yung kikitain ko." kwento ko kay Kai nang dumating siya sa condo ko.

"Whoever the main lead is, sigurado naman akong mas maganda ka kaysa doon." walang pag aatubili niyang sabi. Mahina naman akong natawa.

"How would you know? 'Di mo pa nga kilala kung sino 'yun eh." ngumuso ako at sumiksik sa kanya. Nakapwesto kaming dalawa sa sofa dito sa salas ko habang nanonood pero mukhang wala na sa TV ang atensiyon namin.

"How would I know? Simply because you're already the prettiest girl in my eyes." he said softly and leaned closer to me. Napapikit ako nang maramdaman ang labi niya sa noo ko. He hugged me tighter and rested his chin on the top of my head after.

He was so gentle with me. Kaya ngayon ay nilalamon ako ng konsensya ko. How can I use him in a way that would possibly destroy him? He's too kind for betrayal. Ayaw ko na... ayaw kong ituloy.

-

"I can't do it, mom. Kai's too pure, I can't continue fooling him like this." seryosong sabi ko kay mommy. I crossed my arms and sighed. Kai was nothing but nice to me and this is what I'll do in return?

"So you're giving up?" she raised her brows. Napayuko ako at tumango.

I was always the type of person who would never backdown. Mataas ang pride ko at ayaw kong umaatras sa kahit ano. But Kai... importante siya sa'kin at ayaw kong magalit siya sa'kin kung sakaling ituloy ko pa ito.

"I can't do this anymore, mom." mahina kong sabi. "Hindi na kaya ng konsensya ko. At isa pa, bumalik naman na ang career ko dahil sa issue naming dalawa. That's enough, right? May bago akong pelikula, malaki din ang kikitain ko doon, 'my."

Napatango siya at tumalikod, lumapit sa isang drawer niya at may kinuha mula doon. I sighed in relief. Hindi naman siya mukhang galit.

"When your brother was 6 years old, someone told me that they saw your dad with another woman." panimula niya at may inabot sa'kin na frame. It was a picture of a man that looks a lot like my Kuya Trace.

I thought she was okay with me not doing this anymore, but I didn't expect for her to talk about my father. Anong kinalaman ng walang kwenta kong ama sa sitwasyon namin ni Kai?

"I-Is this my dad?" I asked hesitantly. Isang beses siyang tumango at humilig sa lamesa sa likod niya.

"You were a year old that time. At first, I refused to believe it, Avery. I loved you father so much that I chose to be blind. Ginagago na nila ako pero hindi ko 'yun pinansin kasi mahal ko ang tatay mo. And you know what I got in return? A broken marriage and a shattered heart. He left me for his mistress. He married her. And you know what I found out after? He adopted his mistress' son. Nagpaka-ama siya sa anak ng babae niya habang kayong mga tunay na anak niya ay lumaking nangungulila sa kanya."

My mouth parted with what she said. Tanggap ko naman nang walang pakialam sa'min si daddy, na iniwan niya kami. Pero bakit bumabalik na naman 'yung sakit ngayong nagkwe-kwento si mommy?

"He cheated on me two years after our marriage." she chuckled sarcastically. "Oh, and you want to know the best part?"

Napalunok ako at tumango. I know nothing about my father and what happened after he left us. My mom always refuses to talk about him so I really have no idea. So now that she's telling me all about him and the past, I wanted to know everything. So I nodded.

"The kid he adopted? 'Yung anak ng babae niya? 'Yung inalagaan niya at ngayon ay balak niyang pamanahan ng lahat ng meron siya?" she chuckled humorlessly.

"It's your boyfriend, Avery. Kai Xavier Gonzales."