Love and Pretensions (Published Under PIP)

26.

I've been silent about this issue for days because I don't think I owe everyone an explanation. This is my life and I have my own choices, I make my own decisions. But still, I wanted to clear my name.

My life has been a total lie ever since our family lost our company. Along with that, I lost my acting career too. But because of my pride and ego, I didn't want anyone to know about that. So I kept pretending and fooling everyone to believe that I'm still the same old me. Rich, famous, has everything. But I'm none of those anymore.

And yes, I admit, I used Kai. He was my only hope so I used him as much as I could. I admit, I did all of those for money, but I had other reasons too. Hindi lang pera ang habol ko sa kanya. I wouldn't want say much about this kasi ayaw kong may madamay pang ibang tao dahil lang dito. But do know that aside from money, the other reason behind what I did is too personal and I would choose to keep it between the two of us. I hope everyone understands.

Ayaw kong sabihin ang lahat dahil gusto ko sanang ayusin namin 'to nang pribado. Again, I just wanted to clear my name. Wala na akong pakialam kung papaniwalaan niyo ba ako o hindi. But no matter what happens, I will keep this issue between me, Kai, and everyone involved only. I hope everyone understands.

And to Kai, if by chance that you're reading this, I would like to say sorry. You were nothing but kind to me. You took care of me, you loved me, you protected me. And I cannot thank you enough for that. I am so sorry for what I have done and for the things I failed to tell you. I hope you can still forgive me.

-

I posted a photo of me and Kai along with that statement. It was a photo of us at the beach, the same night I asked him to be my boyfriend.

Time flies so fast. Parang kailan ay kayakap ko lang siya. Parang kailan lang ay kasama ko siya.

Huminga ako nang malalim at inayos ang sarili. I decided that I want to talk to Kai. Nasa taas lang naman ang unit niya.

I even cooked his favorite buttered chicken para kung sakaling papayag siya ay sabay na kaming kakain ng tanghalian.

I hope this ends up well.

Lumabas ako ng sariling unit dala ang paper bag na may pagkain. Nang makarating sa labas ng unit niya ay huminga muna ulit ako nang malalim bago pinindot ang doorbell.

It took about 30 seconds before the door opened. His eyes widened when he saw me while I just wanted to hug him... but I was afraid that he might push me away so I stopped myself.

"What are you doing here?" He asked dryly. Nakagat ko ang labi ko at napayuko. He wasn't the same Kai anymore. He seemed so cold, so distant.

His eyes no longer reflected love and affection.

"I-I, uh..." nakagat ko ang ibabang labi at pinaglaruan ang paper bag na hawak. Nag-angat muli ako ng tingin at nakita ang naiinip niyang mukha.

"You came here for your things, didn't you?" he asked.

Natahimik ako pero maya-maya'y umiling. "I... I wanted to talk to you. A-About that night and, uh, the things my mom said."

Hindi siya umimik at tinitigan lang ako.

"I'm sorry, Kai. I realized that everything I did was so wrong. And I was a bitch for being that selfish and self centered. K-Kai, I'm sorry, I hope you forgive me." I said sincerely.

Hindi pa'rin siya umiimik kaya napabuntong hininga nalanga ko. "I made us lunch, kumain ka na ba?" I asked and acted cheerful kahit ang totoo ay kinakabahan ako. "I just thought that we can start over and uh, we can start by having lunch t-together?" alanganin kong sabi.

"Why are you doing this?" wala pa'ring emosyon na tanong niya. Seryoso lang siyang nakatingin sa'kin kaya hindi ko alam kung paano ako aakto.

"B-Because I wanted to make it up to you... and I love you, Kai. I-I want us to go back to how we used to be. 'Y-Yung masaya tayo? P-Pwede pa ba 'yun, Kai? Sige naman na, oh. Patawarin mo na ako." I said, almost pleading.

"What kind of act is this again, huh, Avery? Anong klaseng pagpapanggap na naman 'tong ginagawa mo? And you love me? That's the worst thing I've ever heard." he scoffed. "Tanga na ako kung maniniwala pa ako sa'yo."

Nanubig ang mga mata ko at kaagad akong umiling. "K-Kai, nagsasabi na ako ng totoo. Mahal talaga kita. M-Maniwala ka naman sana sa'kin." I said and looked down. Hinayaan kong tumulo ang mga luha ko pero kaagad ko din na pinunasan para hindi na niya makita.

"Maraming ibang mayayamang lalaki diyan, Avery. Sila nalang ang lokohin mo, pagod na ako sa'yo." aniya at walang pasabi akong sinaraduhan ng pinto.

Nanghihina akong napaupo at napasandal napang sa pintuan na sinara niya. I sobbed and let myself cry again.

I stayed outside his unit until nighttime, hoping he would open up. Pero walang nangyari.

"It's okay, Avery. Y-You deserve this, kasalanan mo 'to. You need to suffer the c-consequences." I told myself and wiped my tears.

Nilalamig ako kaya niyakap ko ang mga braso ko at pinikit nalang ang mga mata. Hindi ako aalis dito hangga't hindi kami nagkakaayos.

And with that plan in my head, I dozed off to sleep.

-

I woke up very sweaty. I looked around and sighed in relief when I saw that I was in our room.

Was it all a bad dream?

Everything that happened was just a dream? Does that mean that me and Kai are still okay?

Tumingin ako sa pwesto ni Kai sa tabi ko pero wala na siya kaya dali-dali akong tumayo at hinanap siya.

He was cooking breakfast, a very familiar sight for me. Ganito naman kada-umaga eh.

Napangiti ako at lumapit para yakapin siya mula sa likod tulad ng palagi kong ginagawa. I felt him stiffen a bit pero hindi ko 'yun masyadong pinagtuunan ng pansin. Siguro ay nagulat lang siya sa'kin.

"I had a bad dream, Kai. Naghiwalay daw tayo tapos ayaw mo na daw sa'kin." sumbong ko at binaon ang mukha sa likod niya. I sniffed his scent and closed my eyes.

"Get off of me, please." seryosong sabi niya kaya napamulat ako ng mga mata at biglang napabitaw. Humarap siya sa'kin at nagtataka ko naman siyang tinignan.

"Bakit, may masakit ba sa'yo?" tanong ko at sinalat ang noo niya habang nakahawak ang isang kamay sa kaniyang braso.

Hindi siya umimik. Kaagad siyang lumayo sa'kin at pinatay ang kalan. Pagkatapos ay naghain na.

"Huy, ano problema mo?" I asked.

"Ask yourself, user." walang emosyong sabi niya.

Bigla kong naalala, nakatulog ako sa labas kagabi at nagising sa kwarto niya, dahilan kung bakit maisip kong panaginip 'yun.

Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. "I-It wasn't a d-dream?"

Hindi siya sumagot. Sa halip ay sinenyas niya ang pintuan. "Grab all your things and get out, you're no longer welcome here." seryosong sabi niya.

"K-Kai, please, I'm sorry... okay lang kung paalisin mo ako dito p-pero sana mapatawad mo ako. At gusto ko din na mag explain kung b-bakit ko 'yun ginawa. Makinig ka muna... a-ayaw kong hindi tayo magkaayos, please?" I pleaded again.

"Ikakasal ka naman na 'di ba? Kaya umalis ka na. Pumunta ka na sa mapapangasawa mo dahil hindi kita kailangan dito."

Nangunot ang noo ko at nagtataka siyang tinignan. Lumapit ako sa kanya at sinubukang abutin ang mga kamay niya pero kusa siyang lumayo. "Kai, w-wala akong papakasalam, ano ba ang sinasabi mo?" I asked.

Matagal niya akong tinitigan, wala pa'ring bahid ng kahit anong emosyon sa mga mata niya.

Hindi siya sumagot kaya kinuha ko ang cellphone ko sa bulsa. Siguro ay may nagpakalat na naman ng fake news tungkol sa'kin.

And the first thing i saw was an article from a verified journalist.

Former business woman, Winter Vergara, has publicly announced her daughter's upcoming wedding with the CEO and owner of Gallego Companies, Andres Gallego. Click here to view full article.