Walls

Chapter 4- Caught

Taylor's POV

I wake up and lay in my bed for a few moments just thinking about everything and nothing. I'm pulled from my thoughts by a knock at the door. I run to the door and open it. There damp and shaking from the New York rain, stands a tired, disheveled, Ed. I smile as he drops his bags, and jump into his arms. In that moment I forget about my appearance for a moment. In that moment I feel safer than I have in months.

"I've missed you love." He whispers in my ear.

"I missed you more." I whisper back.

He pulls away and looks at me.

"Well I brought all of your favorites from the Waffle House. A cheese-steak omelette, a stack of buttermilk pancakes, some waffles, and some other stuff."

That's when my feelings of insecurity set back in. The thought of eating makes me feel physically sick.

"Wow that sounds great. Let me just go get dressed." I tell him and flee to my bedroom.

Tears slide slowly down my face as I zip my dress. I dry my eyes long enough to apply my makeup. I walk out trying to look fully composed.

"Alright lets eat!" He says.

I battle over my own thoughts for a moment. Do I say I already ate? No he would never believe that. Maybe I can get away with just eating a very small bit of everything and I'll purge it later.

I walk to the kitchen and put extremely small portions of each thing on my plate.

"Really that's all you're eating?"

"Yeah I'm not all that hungry..."

"Come on you've gotta eat more than that..." And he slaps piles of food on to my plate.

I smile at him and exhale as he walks over to my dining table. I stay behind and make two cups of tea. I add a few drops of creamer and a spoon of sugar, just how Ed taught me. Drinking it this way is more fattening, but it's the one indulgence I allow myself.

I go and sit down at the seat across from Ed. Every once in a while I take a small bite of eggs, but I don't dare go for the pancake or waffles as Ed had smothered them in syrup. We drink our tea in silence as Ed stuffs his face full of food. I admire the way he's able to eat and not think about the pounds of fat it'll pack on to him later. It seems Hollywood's pressure hasn't reached him yet.

My walls stand a thousand miles high trying to hide the signals of my habits from him.

"So babe how have you been? How was tour?" He finally breaks the silence.

"It was good. The crew were acting a little cold towards the end, but uh other than that I miss it already. I can't wait to start the next one." I say making it sound a little better than the truth.

"I'm sure they were all just tired and trying to detach so leaving each other wouldn't be as hard."

Caught up in the conversation we're having about our time apart. We talk about everything from all the different places we were to what restaurants we ate at. We show each other pictures we took and videos of our cats.

"Well i have some business emails I need to reply to, so I'm gonna go in the guest room and do that and then I'm taking you out for shopping and dinner!" He says getting up and grabbing his bag.

"Okay I'm gonna do some work too."

I wait for him to be gone and then go to the bathroom. I shut and lock the door then, I stand there shaking from the tears slipping out of my eyes. I pull out my phone and am hit with every tabloid commenting on my surprising behavior. The articles say horrible things. One even says that I'm on drugs because of my run the bathroom yesterday and my weight change. The rumors make my head spin and my stomach churn.

I drop to my knees and lean over the toilet. I press my toothbrush down my throat and vomit. I keep going until I've gotten all of the food. I stand up feeling dizzy. I feel my eyes close and I pass out.

Ed's POV

I hear the sound of vomiting and then a thump on the floor. I run to Taylor's bathroom. I jiggle handle, but it's locked. I try to pick the lock with a bobby pin that I found on her vanity, but it's no use. I rummage around her room looking for the key. Finally I find it in a drawer attached to an orange ribbon. I hysterically stick it in the lock and turn it. 

When I walk in I see a pale Taylor laying on the ground her toothbrush half way in her mouth. Then I look over and see vomit in the toilet. I put two and two together and it infuriates me. She's too smart for this. How could she do this to herself?!

I walk in and shake her and she finally awakes. I wait for her to come to and then I flip.

"Taylor how the bloody hell could you do this? You're too smart for this!"

I don't even give her time to reply. I storm out of her apartment into the wet New York Streets.