Walls

Chapter 5- Save Me

So... It's kind of 2 am right now and I'm listening to breathe while writing this and I'm linking breathe to this so you can cry too. 

Taylor's POV

I lay again the bathroom walls, sobs racking my body. It was never meant to happen like this. Why can't he see that I'm just trying to be perfect for him? He just stormed out on me at a time when I need him. I need him so badly. I don't know how to live without him. He's the shining pillar of light in this dark tunnel I call my life. I never wanted him to find out about this. Now I might've lost him forever.

Ed's POV

I wonder the streets aimlessly trying to sort through the days events. How couldn't I have known? How could she be doing this to herself? How could I have flipped on her when she needs me most? I turn around and head back to her flat. When I walk in I hear sobs echoing the whole apartment. I walk into the hallway to find her bedroom door shut and locked. I slide down the door and lean my head to it.

I sit there for about three hours before she finally opens up the door. I stand up and grab her before she runs away. She just looks into my eyes before falling apart into my shoulder.

"I'm sorry" Is all she keeps repeating to me.

I just pick her up and take her to the couch. She lays her head in my lap and I run my fingers through her hair. She silently cries until I'm pretty sure she physically can't cry anymore. I decide now might be an okay time to ask some questions.

"When did it start, Taylor?" I ask her a little apprehensive.

"Well the starving and throwing up started around the time of the london leg of the tour."

I sit there staring at the wall blankly. In that moment I remembered everything that happened during that time when I'd visit her on the road. All the weird behavior like the rocking and shaking her legs when she was eating, the not eating before shows, the disappearing to the restroom for long periods, all of it.

"Why Taylor, why do you do this? You're so perfect."

She sits up and stares at me. "No I'm not Ed! My thighs are giant, my stomach protrudes. I'm horrendous! I need to become perfect so the hate will stop, and the media will leave me all alone, and you won't be ashamed to be seen with me! You'll finally love me."

Those words hit me like a ton a bricks. If only she knew she's my entire world.

"Taylor you are NOT fat. You are perfect and I love you so much."

"You just don't get it, Ed. Not even you can save me this time."