Walls

Chapter 8- Dormitory.

Taylor's POV

Ed kisses my forehead and departs. The woman who checked me in earlier motions for me to follow her to my dorm. When we arrive she unlocks it and lets me in. I guess my security already brought my things in because there is another woman who works here going through them. 

"Erm... Excuse me, do you care to tell me why you're rummaging through my things?" I ask her a little annoyed.

"Sorry it's just protocol. We have to make sure you don't have any sort of blades or anything that your or someone else could harm you or some one else with. I'm done here so I'll leave you to unpack. You'll be permitted to stay in here for the rest of today to get settled, but you'll begin a normal schedule tomorrow." She says and heads out the door.

I took a minute to collect myself and got to unpacking all of my things and placing them in the cabinets and on the  shelves around the room. In the midst of unpacking, I find a beautifully decorated journal. One that I've never seen before. I open and it up and find a note inside written in Ed's handwriting. I thought that maybe we could about our days and feeling in here and pass them it off a every visit? Stay strong, love. See you soon, Ed. P.S I love you ;) 

Tears pour out of my eyes all over again. I want to be at home with Ed and Mere. I don't want to only see Ed once or twice a week and pass off some journal like it's a pair of jeans that magically fit both of us or something. I want to tell Ed how my day was or what I'm feeling over a hot cup of tea and an episode of Grey's Anatomy we've both see a hundred times. I don't want to be locked up here in this glorified prison. I wanna spend time with Ed and walk around the city, meeting fans along the way. I used to feel a bit annoyed that I  could never have one day out without people asking for selfies, but now I miss those rude interruptions.

I finally stop the tears and calm my breathing after my billionth breakdown of the day. I continue to unpack my things and then change into my sweats and a tank top and pull over sweater. They sure do keep it insanely chilled in here. I walk over to the thermostat in my room. It's set to 75. I should be hot right now. That's a tad strange.

I dismiss it and move to my bed. I pick up my phone and go to instagram. I decide that I wanna try to talk to some fans. I go to the pictures I'm tagged in and click on a picture of a girl. The caption was something self deprecating and saying she wishes she could look like me. It makes me sad that girls feel this way about themselves. I go to the comments and start to type. You're beautiful sweet girl! Stay strong, I love you!   I go on commenting on people's pictures until I notice the time. It's 5:55. Time to face my first meal in this hell hole.

I make my way to the dining hall. When I get there they motion for me to sit down. The meal they place in front of me is bigger than any meal I've ever eaten. I'll never finish it. But they force all of us to.  After we eat we all go sit out in a living space type of area. One by one the girls wind up throwing up their meals, including myself. They send me back to my room telling me that my next meals will be a little smaller until I can eat more. I shut and lock my door and sit on my bed. I stare in the mirror and pull up my shirt. I feel my sides and I feel every rib. Maybe I'm in deeper than I imagined.