Walls

Chapter 19- Seize

You never think that the last time you look into someone's eyes is the last time. You never think that one day you'll wake up to find the one you love lifeless. You never expect half the things life throws at you. You don't think that beautiful girls with perfect lives can wake up to find their life crumbling before their eyes. You never think that the nerdy guy who gets the girl will ever have a problem again. Yet someday they wake up and their lives are in shambles and they do have problems. No one leads a perfect life because there's always someone waiting to take them down. And sometimes they succeed. Sometimes they do manage to claim another life, physically or metaphorically.
Ed's POV
I wake with a start. Something feels wrong. I lay for a moment with my eyes closed trying to figure out what it is. Then I realize. She's gone. I don't hear her breath next to me or the feeling of body next to mine.
My eyes dart open and I look around. No where to be seen. I don't hear her in the kitchen and the tv isn't on. Her jacket is still hanging on the door along with her purse. Her phone is on the charger on the night stand. Every part of her is here, except for her.
My feet are cold as they touch the ground. A chill goes down my spine. Something isn't right here. I knock on the bathroom door. No response, so I open the door. And there it is.
Taylor's frail body on the floor jerking around. I pull out my phone and quickly dial 911 while rushing to her. They say they'll be here soon and tell me how to handle this.
I pull her body onto my lap and flip her on her side. I turn on a timer so I can tell them about how long she's seizing.
"Taylor please calm down. The ambulance is on its way, it's alright. You're gonna be fine, you hear me? They'll find out what's going on and I'll never let you out of my sight again. I'll help you get recovered again and make sure you stay that way. I'll never leave again okay? I'll never let you get bad again. So just hold on okay?"
Finally the seizing starts to slow down until she's just still. She doesn't wake up though. I wish she would. She was seizing for 6 minutes. I'm sure that can't be good.
I don't know what caused this. She has anorexia, not epilepsy.
Soon she's being wheeled out on a stretcher and I'm running behind. Paps are following too, practically jumping on the ambulance. They already made her hate herself, do they really need to broadcast her in her state right now?
The whole ride consists of her heart stopping, them starting it again, and talking in some medical talk I don't understand.
At the hospital they take her into some room, leaving me in the waiting room with my thoughts. This isn't fair. She's already got an eating disorder, now she's having seizures? Why in the hell would anorexia cause seizures? Yes lately she's been back to vomiting when she thought I wouldn't notice and drinking less water, but can that really do that much if she was still drinking some water? It's over an hour before they come to me with an update.
"Mr.sheeran? May we talk?" A doctor finally says, breaking me from my thoughts.
I follow him into a room where there's an empty bed.
"Sir, I'm very sorry, but your girlfriend...she didn't make it."
Nothing. I feel nothing, but numbness. She was okay last night. She was breathing. She was fine. She was fine. Anorexia doesn't kill people. Yes it causes problems, but she wasn't too far gone that it could've killed her.
"What...what do you mean she's dead?" I cry out.
"I'm so sorry."
"I need you to tell me how this happened because I don't understand how her eating disorder did this. She was okay yesterday."
"Okay. Taylor was very sick and underweight. More than maybe anyone could've caught on to. I noticed that recently she's been here multiple times for passing out. On everyone of this occasions we found laxatives and diet pills her system and she admitted that she'd been throwing up. I'm not sure how she wasn't admitted and you were not informed, but because of that on top of her not eating, drinking little water, and over exercising her potassium levels where very low. That caused her to have dangerous heart rhythms. The dehydration is what likely caused. The seizure. Everything coupled together, her organs went into failure. There was not way to bring her back."
"May I say goodbye?"
He nods and leads me to a room where she lays completely still on a bed. Her eyes are closed and her skin is ice like. It's not Taylor anymore, just a corpse of a beautiful girl who was taken too soon. The doctor leaves me to say goodbye to her.
"I'm so sorry Taylor. I thought me just being here holding your hand and trying to help you was enough. I should've gotten you real help. I should've found you a better rehab and taken you there and visited you a lot. I should've noticed the pills and the throwing up and the you paying off the hospital. I should've never left. I should've noticed it started again before it could even go anywhere. I should've fought for you and instead I let you push me away. I let the media do this to you and I just watched. I'm so sorry. Please come back. I can't live without you. I need to wake up to your perfect smile and your blue eyes everyday. I need you, please tell me this isn't real, please. I miss you and I'll never forget you. Ever. I love you so much." I press one last kiss to her lips.
This is my fault. I left them get to her. I let the media break her until there was nothing left. I sat back and I watched this happen. I let it happen.
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I can't leave. I can't go back to our apartment and see it without her in it. I can't move because everywhere I turn there's a memory of her.
I pull out my phone and hers, looking for the number of her parents. I'm greeted by the sound of a nice sounding woman.
"Taylor?"
"Um no, it's her boyfriend Ed." I reply, chocking down tears.
"Oh, a Taylor okay? I haven't talked to her in so long? But I just haven't wanted to call her and add any fuel while she seems to be so down."
"Actually I'm at the hospital right now."
"Oh god what happened?"
"I...I... I'm sorry. I found her this morning she had a seizure and something about her heart. Her organs failed and uh they couldn't get her back." I cry out
All I hear on the other end is two sobs. Her mother and father.
"I'm so sorry for your loss." Her mother whispers.
"Yours also."
"Her father and I will take care of planning the memorial. You shouldn't have to. You were closer to her than us. Well call you when we take care of all of it."
I thank her and she hangs up. Only so many more of these phone calls to go.
A/n: I wrote this at 3 am so sorry it sucks, but I just didn't know how to write this chapter and now I'm crying and I tried to make it accurate so hopefully it is but I need to go to sleep and calm down because I'm a mess after writing this.