It's been 3 weeks since he left. Everyday I've eaten less and less. Now I don't notice the hunger pains or the dizziness I experience when my blood sugar lowers or the blackouts when my blood pressure sky falls. He calls when he can, but they're working him like a dog. Recording, writing, appearances, all of it. The tour stats in a week at least. I'm not sure what it'll be like. I know I'm in love with it. Every rehearsal we have makes me even more excited. I've been having a bit of trouble keeping energy up and my clothes have been altered quite a lot. I'm not sure why though. None of this happened before I got treated so it's probably just stress.
I miss Ed a lot. I wish he was here to see it and give me his opinions. I wish he was here to quiet the voices and dry the tears.
I take off my extremely baggy sweats and Ed's tshirt. I get into the shower, enjoying the burn of each little stream hitting my back. I just stare at the wall as I wash my hair. Things have felt like they're in slow motion lately. I'm happy when I'm rehearsing, but then I come here to be alone with my dangerous thoughts. I feel as though I'm withering into nothing, but a girl with a disorder. A girl who's mind matches her disgusting exterior.
A ding from my phone brings me back from my thought to realize that the bathroom is suffocatingly streamy and my shoulders are burning from the hot water. Funny how interesting a blank wall can be when your head is painted with thoughts.
I quickly shut off the water and wrap a towel around me. When my hands are dried I look at the phone it's a text from Ed asking if I want to talk. I reply with a yes and head to my room to get ready.
The talk with ed is short but good. Mostly just talking about our busy schedules and how much we miss the other. He asks if I'm eating my meals and I reply with a yes even though the truth is I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday. It doesn't matter though, I haven't had any blackout so I'm fine. I feel like I have enough stamina to rehearse as long as I drink some coffee.
Today we are beginning to do two run throughs of the show each day. It's going to be a lot of work, but it should be fun. I'd much rather preform for a crowd though. It'll only be three days of this though and then out to Tokyo for the shows.
A/n: this chapter is literally shit I'm sorry for this filer. But only about two chapters left:)
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Walls
Teen FictionEver since she was 15, Taylor's face has been plastered upon every news front page. The flashing lights of Hollywood can ruin a person. They have the power to make people go mad or just simply hate themselves. To deal with this some turn to drugs, o...
