Crossing Lines

4. Blue

Jake's pov-

All I could see was the color blue. Blue like wild waves crashing in a storm. The type of blue that raged with fury and lit ablaze.

The blue that was his eyes. The ones that glared and sharpened like knives when they looked at me. I could remember that blue just as well as I could remember my name. The way they seemed to be a current sucking me into them with no escape.

But that blue wasn't always fierce and angry. It was also glassy and unfocused as they stared up at me from below. The calm misty eyes that I'd only gotten to see up close once. That blue was the one I wanted to see more, the blue I laid in bed at night yearning for.

And well it was the vision I focused on as I stroked myself being tugged closer and closer to the edge. That look of him on his knees, tears in his eyes, taking me like it was nothing. I groaned as my hands gripped tighter, my pace increasing.

"Fuck," I was on the edge, I was so close.

Those blue eyes lit ablaze in my head. They were gearing for a fight and fuck I loved it. It was enough just imagining the look of white hot rage, the way he'd look at me almost as if he wanted to punch me over and over again.

I bit my lip holding back a moan and I released onto my hand. I let my head fall forward and rest against the cold shower wall.

"Fuck." I panted not really wanting to admit to myself that I had jerked off to him, again.

It shouldn't be hard to come to terms with that now after it's happened way too many times to admit.

I stuck my hand under the warm water still raining down out of the shower head. I let my brain supply the image of blue eyes staring up at me, his tongue licking the white off my hand, cleaning me up without the water of the shower there to do it for me. It was enough for my dick to twitch wanting to try to go again.

I shook my head letting it all go. I didn't have time to go again. I didn't have time to let myself get lost in that fantasy. I finished my shower fast knowing that the only way to really clear my head was going to be getting out and starting my day.

Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to try to fit in some extra time at the gym today. Just the thought had my skin itching slightly as I tried to rearrange my daily schedule in my head.

Once I had gotten changed into fresh clothes and went over to my desk to grab the daily planner I had laid out on it like always.

I thanked past me for adding that extra time for my shower because I was still plenty on track for what I had to do today.

"Yo," Adam swung into the doorway his head popping into my room.

"Hey." I nodded at him in greeting.

"I'm heading over to Callum's we are going to do that history essay. I know you'll say no but figured I'd at least offer an invitation."

"I got to grab something to eat and then I'm going to the library to study for like an hour before I have lecture and then-,"

"Dude you need to learn to let loose a little you're starting to stress me out." Adam laughed.

"I can have fun, I have lots of fun I just-,"

"Have to put it in your schedule." He joked.

"It keeps things organized and keeps me productive." I argued.

"Yeah yeah, one day I'm going to burn that thing."

"Yeah and then I'll kill you." I smiled.

"Looking forward to it. I'll see you at practice later." He waved and then turned to leave.

Adam, my roommate since freshman year thought my need to schedule my whole life and keep everything in order was a little bit too much. He had freaked out on me the time that he saw I had scheduled out a time for one of my hookups. He told me I couldn't schedule sex but he just didn't understand. He didn't get my need to keep a schedule. I needed to write everything out, it made sure that my days were always controlled. I got to control everything that happened every day and well Adam might think that it's stressful but it made me feel relaxed for the first time ever.

I had just walked into the kitchen when my phone started to buzz. I grabbed it and looked at the screen to see a phone call coming in from my mom.

"Hey Ma." I answered.

"Who is this? It's been so long I barely recognize your voice." She sassed.

"I'm sorry I've just been busy. We got a big game coming up so I've been working with the team a lot to get ready for it." I told her.

"I hope you're taking some time for yourself and your studies. I don't want you to overwhelm yourself."

"I've got everything handled Ma."

"Well clearly not handled enough because you haven't had the time for your family, you know your father misses you."

"Dad misses me? Maybe I should call him up instead." I teased.

"Don't you dare ditch me for that man."

I laughed. I had always had a really good relationship with my parents. It was them who had supported me throughout high school as I stressed over the balance between my schoolwork and football. It was them who showed up to every game and my dad who stood at the fence screaming the loudest. My mom had sat with me my senior year and helped me choose which college I wanted to go to and helped talk me through which major I was interested in the most.

I wouldn't be here without them.

"Is there a reason you called?" I questioned.

"Do I need a reason to want to talk to my favorite son?"

"Bump me up to favorite child and I'll say no."

"I wouldn't want to spread lies." She chuckled.

"Rude."

"You know I don't have a favorite child, maybe you should call your dad. He might give you a better response."

"Yeah he'd straight up tell me he likes Maya more." I joked.

My younger sister Maya was a piece of work and full of sass but I loved her. She was going through her rebellious teen phase and most of the time she pretended to hate me.

"When are you coming home?" She asked.

"I don't know mom I got games and practice." I told her, as much as I wanted to go home to see my family I just didn't have the time during the season.

"If I came up to visit would you make time for me?"

"Give me some notice and I'll make it happen." I agreed.

"This is why you're my favorite son."

"I'm your only son." I reminded her with a laugh.

It was nice to be able to talk to her and it would be nice for my parents to be able to come up to visit and maybe come to one of my games.