Crossing Lines

28. One little question

I didn't know if it was a good idea but I was doing it anyways. Luckily my car had been cleaned out thanks to Monroe. While I had been avoiding that problem he decided to do it for me while I was in class yesterday. I was super thankful for him and it meant I was able to drive myself to Kingsley after our game today. Their game was a little later than ours so there was still the second half left when I showed up.

I hadn't initially planned to disguise myself. I was planning on just showing up but the longer I sat on that plan the more worried I got that Jake would take one look at me and tell me to get lost. Or that his roommate would see me and do something worse than leaving crickets in my car before I even got to see Jake.

So that was why I was stepping out of my car in a black hoodie I stole from Jetson with the hood up and Monroe's baseball cap tugged down low on my head. I looked a little suspicious but it was better this way if I could just hide out for the rest of the game and then find Jake once it was over.

When I got to the field I didn't go up to sit in the bleachers. I stood on the side letting the crowd hide me away. I wasn't totally blocked so I could still see the game from between the heads of the people standing in front of me. I tried to scan the bench for Jake but I couldn't see him. He was probably sitting down being blocked by his teammates.

I just wanted to see him. I wanted to talk to him. I'd settle for just about anything at this point.

"You look like an idiot." I jumped at the sound of Jake's voice behind me. I hadn't heard him sneak up on me and I definitely hadn't seen him in the crowd when I walked over here.

I turned around and there he was. He was propped up on his crutches, his ankle wrapped up in his cast. I had so much I wanted to say, one of those things was asking more about his injury. I wanted to make sure he was ok but I knew he wouldn't tell me shit right now. I needed to apologize and make things right first before anything else.

"I just wanted to see you." I told him hoping he wouldn't turn and walk away before I could even string together everything I wanted him to hear.

"To do what? If you want someone to fuck you then I suggest you find someone else because I have no interest." He frowned at me.

That wasn't what I wanted. I hadn't shown up here for a fuck. I hadn't shown up just to resume whatever we were doing before. I didn't really know exactly what I wanted from Jake but I knew I wanted more than that.

"That's not what I'm here for." I shook my head.

I really should have rehearsed something before showing up here. I had thought I'd known what I wanted to say but standing here in front of Jake was so much different than thinking about this moment in my head on the drive here.

"Then why exactly are you here?" He asked.

"Because I fucked up. I ruined everything and I want to fix it. I'm trying to fix this."

He didn't say anything but also he didn't turn to leave either. I took that as a win and was thankful he at least seemed to be willing to listen to what I had to say.

I took a deep breath and decided to just go for it. I needed to tell him how I felt. It was now or never.

"I saw you laid out on that field and I felt something. I got scared and I did the only thing I could think of and I ran. I'm sorry that I freaked out, I didn't want to hurt you Jake."

I cursed himself for not being able to say the words I actually needed to. Why couldn't I just tell him exactly how I felt? Why was this so hard?

"What did you feel?" He questioned.