Until I Found You (FAAM)

Pains X Pighati

The moment we arrived in the house i just helped zoey to her room. And i went straight to my room.
And all the tears starts to run down my face.

Ang sakit! Parang dinurog ako ulit.

Everything happened rush down on me like ano ba to is it a game? Does this game really needs to hurt me ng paulit ulit.

I can't stop myself but just cry everything out until i fell asleep.

I woke up with sun peeking thru my windows and it's still early i decided to come back in the office. Mik doesn't know na nakabalik na ko and i can't stay here in the house by myself.

Zoey's going in the hospital to take care of vinny kaya i just drop her there and went straight to my office.

I arrived in the office and wala pang tao. Im 20 Mins early kase.

Im here in my table. I saw it. The picture. Our picture. And it breaks me again and again. Nag unahan nanaman bumagsak mga luha ko napatigil lang ako ng may marinig na ko sa labas ng office.

Inayos ko ang sarili ko at sinalubong si Mik.

"Mare?! Mare! Ikaw nga!!! Pota ka namiss kita! Ano ba nangyari? San ka galing? Kailan ka pa bumalik?"

"Mare kalma isa isa lang"

"Mare tangna ka namiss talaga kita" sabi nya habang umiiyak

"Na miss din kita mare! Sobra!"

"Ano na ikwento mo na san ka galing?"

Kwinento ko din naman na lahat ng nangyari the moment i left at kung ano nangyari sakin sa US and pno at bakit ako napa uwi na din.

"Pota mare! Selos na ko ha may bago ka na!" Tinutukoy nya si zoey.

"Mare wag ka na mag selos hindi bagay sayo. Tangek pag nakilala mo si zoey magugustuhan mo yon nako. Para ikaw yun eh"

"Talaga ba mare? Pero thank you sakanya buti sya nakasama mo dun may nag alaga sayo mare"

"Kaya nga mare eh. Hindi ko alam ano nangyari sakin kung hindi ko nakilala si zoey"

"So mare diba sabe mo si zoey ay best friend si vinny? At si simon ang nakapagpa uwi sayo dito?"

"Yeah. Small world noh? We both didn't know na involved pala kami in 1 family"

"Lokong simon to ha. Hindi manlang sakin sinabi na nakita ka na nya"

"Sabi ko kasi sa kanya mare wala munang makaka alam"

"Kahit na. Teka nabalitaan mo na ba nangyari kay vinny kahapon?"

"Yeah. Dun kami dumirecho."

"Wait. So nagkita kita na kayo? Pumunta ba si sandro don?"

"Oo. Everyones there"

"Oh anong sabe?"

"Wala naman. He introduced yung girlfriend nya"

"What?!!!!" Sigaw nya napa tayo pa ang gaga

"Di mo din alam?" Tanong ko pa dito

"Hindi! The fuck galing lang sya dito last week iyak iyak pa sya pota may girlfriend na ngayon!"

"Talaga ba?" Hindi ako maka paniwala so it means bago lang sila?

"Oo mare. Tuwing andito yan sa manila laging pumupunta dito hinahanap ka okaya sainyo. Madalas nag sstay lang yan dito sa office mo. Pero punyeta talaga ngayon may jowa na agad"

"Hayaan mo na mare. Baka na guilty o nagsisi sa nangyari kaya lang pumunta dito. may girlfriend naman na sya mukang ok naman sila maging masaya nalang tayo para sa kanya"

"Ay pota martir! Mare kailangan nyo padin mag usap"

"Para sa pa mare?"

"Para jan. Para sayo. Sooner or later kailangan mo padin sya harapin noh!"

"Bahala na mare iisipin ko nalang yan pag mangyayari na"

Anong oras na din wala kaming nagawang trabaho ni Mik sa sobrang kwentuhan namin. Nag decide sya na mag sleep over sa bahay para ma meet din si zoey.

At nung nagkita nga sila talo pa mag bff nag yakapan at kwentuhan agad. The whole night puro kwento at tawanan lang kami. nalaman na ni Mik lahat sa sobrang daldal ni zoey but hindi naman nagalit sakin to.

[...]
Week later. Para akong palitaw sa office, hindi manlang ako maka complete whole day sa office every other day pa ko kung pumasok.

Mejo hirap kasi ako dahil sa head aches. Gusto ko laging mag pahinga parang pagod na pagod agad ako. Nasanay na ata ako sa buhay tamad.

Since nagkita kami ni sandro hindi padin kami nakakapag usap ulit. Maybe this is better? I hope so.

Nandito lang ako sa bahay today while zoey naman kasama ni vinny ngayon.

I decided to activate all my soc meds accounts. I even requested for new sim card but same number tho. Since i lost the old one.

While checking it sunod sunod ko na received all the messages they sent me. From Mik, Simon, Vinny, tita liza, Jaime, ate cara and sandro.

Almost all the messages are asking me kung nasan ako and if im safe.

Soc meds naman same din. Messages before i deactivate my account. From Mik, simon, vinny and sandro.

Still the same they're asking me where i am.

But there's one message who caught my attention

"Where are you ba? Im sorry for everything Ysabelle, i didn't meant to hurt or offend you. I was just really scared. In my whole life calli ngayon lang ako natakot ng ganito. Im so scared to lose you calli. Im willing to sacrifice everything just to make sure you'll be with me in this life time.
I love you ever since calli. The first time i saw you, there's something in you na nag catch ng attention ko. Since then when i had the chance to know you more i fell in love with you. The day i went in manila to surprise you i was supposed to ask you if i can court you.
But i got scared since you keep saying you don't let anyone to court you. I got scared na baka if i tell you or ask you mag bago bigla lahat. Or you distant yourself to me and i can't risk that you're too special to me.
Everyone knows how much i love you calli. I was just so scared, because of me being coward nangyari yung kinatatakutan ko ngayon. I got so blind with everything not knowing na im hurting you na pala.
The moment you asked me if what are we? God knows how badly i want to ask you to be mine. but lahat ng takot and what ifs pumunta sa isip ko.
Kaya all i can answer you is i don't want to lose you. Calli please come back, i promise i'll make everything right this time. Please come back i don't know what to do anymore calli. I need you i can't lose you please."

Tuloy tuloy lang ang agos ng luha ko habang binabasa ko yun. There's a lot of questions sa utak ko.

All of this stopped ng tumawag si vinny.

"Hello ate calli?"

"Yes vin?"

"Wait. Are you crying ba?"

"No. Sinisipon lang. bat napatawag ka?"

"Ate it's my birthday tomorrow. Just a simple dinner please punta ka"

"Oh. Oo nga pala yeah of course."

"And ate. Can zoey stay here for the night? Also mom said can you come like after lunch daw so you guys can make chika daw"

"Yan lang ata tinawag mo eh hehe. But yeah sure can you ask zo kung need ko sya dalahan ng stuffs for tomorrow? Also tell tita liza i'll be there around 2 or 3pm"

"Yes ate. She have extra clothes naman daw na dala. Thanks ate calli. We'll see you tomorrow"

"Okayy. Bye vinny you guys take care"