And will be done (Fields of the Nephilim: Volume 4)

Chapter 27

"Stellar" I could only say her name. Although it wasn't the first time I've called her by it, it somehow felt awkward. I can say that I don't feel much of a stranger to her though or vice versa, it was even like we have known each other now for a very long time.

"Hmm?" she smiled up at me again like it's the most natural thing she could do.

"Are you sure it's okay for you to be out here?" I asked. We were currently at the rooftop garden waiting for the sun to rise and it was barely six in the morning. She's expected to be staying in her room.

"Yes. It's not the first time I have done this" she answered with a shrug. "I used to sneak out and spend time at the chapel the first time I was brought here. I could've brought you there but I thought you might want to see the sun. And haven't we been looking for stars? Well surely this time, we'll see it" she was now beaming innocently. "And besides, the doctor said I can finally go home today"

"Why are you here by the way?" I thought of asking. Stellar blinked at me like she doesn't know what to say.

"Well, nee-san said I fainted. I don't really remember" she answered softly. I only nodded to this.

Silence soon fell between us as the sun now starts to come out giving the horizon a beautiful hue of pale gray and yellow. Its rays started to reach out on every nook of the city which is somehow blanketed still with thin lines of mist. Stellar was watching all these with an awed expression like it was the first time she'd ever come by the first ray of the sun.

"It's beautiful.." she whispered.

"Yes it is" I merely answered and of course I meant it. I felt relaxed and delighted as I stood there with her and yet at some point, there was that feeling of sadness every time I remember that Cien and the others do not breathe the same air that I do anymore and to think that it was my entire fault.

And Johan, quite inevitably, I have learned of her fate from Stellar's subconscious or probably even from Gabriel's. It's just that I have denied acknowledging it in the first place. No, I can never forgive myself for it.

"I want this time to stay frozen even if only for a moment, with the sun peering and just about to swallow the sky whole. You can do it right?" Stellar was looking at me with round dark eyes. I gave her a slight frown like I didn't truly get what she was trying to say.

"You can freeze this moment as it is, right? I want this sunrise by myself.." she said almost irrationally while her eyes scan the whole garden which is now starting to come alive with other people.

I didn't answer her. Instead, I took her by the wrist and pulled her against me. She seemed surprised but I didn't give her another chance to react any further as I buried her face on my chest. Without a second thought, I drew out my wings and I saw how the feathers seem to sparkle against the first rays of light, as I commanded for the world to stop even just for a moment. Then I took Stellar in my arms and flew up high towards the highest rooftop of the building.

"This moment is all yours now Stellar, open your eyes" I whispered to her as I gently put her down on her feet. Her eyes seemed to be scanning the whole city below which still somehow twinkles with electric lights from the previous night while the horizon starts to burn with a much deeper color of sapphire and amber.

She seemed distant for a while like she was truly the only one in the world for that moment that all I could do is to watch her. Her thick black hair that looked so heavy behind her seemed so light now as the morning breeze carries it in its silent rhythm. I suddenly have the urge to touch it and feel its silkiness against my palm.

Her face seemed remote as her eyes were focused on the burning sun and I thought I just couldn't intervene with her thoughts, and so I just stood behind her, watching her in adoration as the world below us starts to wake up.