Life Of A Single Mom

Chapter 8: John

Now John...
John was my second oldest child's father.
And baby, John wasn't just any man.
He was one of those street dudes people feared without him even having to raise his voice. The type of man whose reputation walked into rooms before he did. In his hometown, people respected him, feared him, stayed out his way - and because I was his woman at one point, that same respect automatically fell onto me too whether we were together or not.
John had gone to prison when I was five months pregnant with our son, and now here we were almost two years later with him talking about rebuilding a family like time had never passed.
The dangerous part about John was he didn't even have to touch me to affect me.
One look.
That's all it took.
That man could glance my way and suddenly my whole body forgot how to act. Toxic or not, the connection between us had never truly died.
After I told Will everything about John getting released and the threats that came with it, he eventually decided to leave me alone for good. We still checked on each other from time to time, but I could tell fear had settled into him. And honestly, I couldn't even blame him.
John wasn't somebody to play with.
Still, a small part of me felt hurt watching Will walk away so easily after everything we had been through.
But when the day finally came for John to get released?
Baby... common sense completely left my body.
The second he called, I answered without hesitation.
He asked if me and the kids were coming by his mama's house because he wanted to see us before anybody else.
What he didn't know was we were already there waiting on him.
Seeing the excitement on our son's face had my emotions all over the place. Outside of prison visits and glass windows, this would be their first real time together as father and son.
Then John walked through the door.
Smiling hard. Fresh haircut. Chocolate skin glowing.
And Lord help me...
that man still had an effect on me I couldn't explain.
I tried acting calm, tried keeping my composure, but inside? I was melting. I was stupid in love with that man, and when I say stupid, I mean the kind of love that'll have you ignoring every red flag waving right in your face.
No matter how hard I tried to move on, John still had pieces of my heart.
Watching him bond with our son felt beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Seeing them laugh together, hearing our baby call for him, watching John hold him proudly after missing so much time - it softened me completely.
And just like that...
another door I thought I had closed swung wide open again.
Later that night, after everybody went to sleep, me and John crossed lines we probably shouldn't have crossed. The chemistry between us picked up right where it left off, like prison time and heartbreak had never happened.
But afterward, laying there in silence, guilt started creeping in.
Because despite everything that happened between me and Will, part of me still felt like I owed him loyalty.
The next morning, me and the kids headed back home, but I left our son there for a few extra days so he could continue bonding with his dad.
At first, everything seemed normal.
Then a few weeks passed...
and my body started acting different.
I was exhausted all the time. Sleeping constantly. Craving random foods. Feeling sick one minute and starving the next.
At first I ignored it.
But deep down, I already knew.
My mind started racing.
Could I really be pregnant again? And if I was...
who was the father?
John? Or Will?
I sat there staring at the ceiling one night feeling like my entire life was spiraling all over again.
Because what the hell had I gotten myself into this time?