P.S. Because I Loved You.

P.S. Because I Loved You [10].

September 2:

Dear Ethan,

Shoot me now, in the head please. I don't want to feel any more of the pain. I don't want to suffer the memories.

I had woken up early despite all the yelling in the house. My mind was restless and I was suffocating myself with all these vicious thoughts. I went into our living room and turned on the television. Hopefully something could deviate my thoughts. Unfortunately, it made it worse. Channel 5 Breaking News showed police cars and flashing lights spinning around. Before I switched the channel, the newscast said:

"Good morning and welcome to Breaking News at Morning Five. Today we have some devasting news regarding the missing body of Ethan Craft. It appears that his body was found in Sonoma Country, near Fenn River and the Acampa Forest at 2:25 am. Craft's body was burried in front of a giant oak tree and it was covered in a mixture of male and female jackets. Police are still investigating at the moment and have not released any information about his body. The Craft family was notified of this incident a little over 2 hours ago. We now have a word with Officer Kurt, the man who stumbled upon the body.

'Sir how did you find the body of Ethan Craft?'

'Ma'am I found the body while I was searching for my daughter's lost toy. Our family went camping last week and she claims to have lost her favorite toy. I thought it was a good idea to look for it, and as I was searching for it, the soil near the Oak Tree appeared to be odd. As a cop, it's our duty to take these little things seriously. So I kicked some of the dirt out of the way and found the body.' the Officer said.

'Can you tell us anything about the state of the body?'

'Not yet, ma'am. We are still investigating and the information will be released after all procedures are completed.'

'Thank you for your time, Officer Kurt.'

That is all we have regarding the body of Ethan Craft. Please stay tuned for more."

The remote on my hand was still. My breathing stopped. My blank eyes just gawked at the screen.

They found your body after 2 years. They told your family. When will your family visit the body? Will there be an official funeral now? Will the detectives and officers do DNA testing? Was there any fingerprints on your body? Will they identitfy your jacket? MY jackets? Will they find out who did it? Did my parents see the news? Does my school know? What about Tristan? How can I explain this to Tristan? Will I go to jail? How will my parents react? Should I kill myself before they find out? How can I live through this? What do I do? Where do I go? Will the court be involved? Am I a suspect? What if Tristan finds out everything? What if I didn't hide it properly? Had I not completely obliterated tracks that would lead to me? Did I hide the hammer in the forest? Did I cover my footprints?

I heard Keete getting out of his bed. I blantly turned the television off and scampered into my room. I quietly slid inside the covers of my bed and wanted to hide there for eternity.

The simple question that remained unanswered was: Did I kill you?

Rosalie