Wink Of An Eye (MinWon)

Chapter 10

Regrets. It's a terrible thing to feel. The way it can eat you up inside making you feel remorse, grief, sorrow, sadness, and anger. How it could make you lose the happiness that was in your heart. Making you feel guilty for having the thought of being happy. Because for a while, when regret comes, it makes you ask yourself whether you have the right to be happy again. For you had a part in letting yourself feel regret. And it's an emotion that only you can allow yourself to feel.

In reality, regrets can only be felt because you allow it to be felt. Because you know that you deserve to feel that regret you're feeling. You know you deserve to feel all the sorrow inside you. You deserve to lose the happiness you were feeling.

For you are the reason why you are feeling regret.

Because first of all, it was a decision that caused that feeling of regret. A decision that you chose. A decision that you wished you never chose. Because that's what regret is, isn't it? It can only be felt when you made a choice. A choice that you regret choosing.

And it's the result of that choice that will determine if you will feel regret for choosing it. If what happens after your decision is something good, then, of course, you'll be happy. Cause you made the right choice. You have no reason to feel regret at all.

But when the outcome of your decision is something bad, you won't be happy at all. No, that's not what you'll feel at all. It's regret. That's what you'll feel.

That feeling when you know that you've made a mistake. That you wish that you made a different choice. Wanting things to be different than what they are. Because you've regret what you've done. You regret what you chose.

You regret that you didn't study for a test you failed. You regret that you already bought that new dress just the day before in went on sale. You regret that you dated your ex. You regret not believing those that cared about you.

And you regret that you just had another hook-up with someone you barely even know when you specifically told yourself that it was never going to happen ever again.

That's what Wonwoo's feeling right now.

Wonwoo's currently sitting on the couch inside his apartment with his elbows on his parted knees with both of his palms pressed hard against his face. He can't believe himself. It has only been 3 days since he's been dumped, and he's already slept with another guy?! And not once, but twice?!

He's been like this ever since he came back from Mingyu's place. The moment Wonwoo woke up on Mingyu's bed, he had no trouble remembering what happened at the day before.

He remembered how he had so much hope and patience while waiting for Jun to come for his stuff. Only to be disappointed when it was Jihoon who came. And Wonwoo could remember how hurt and confused he was when he tried to get answers for his questions from Jihoon. Only to end up with more questions and confusion in the end. Causing him to feel more hurt and pain than the days before.

And Wonwoo could remember how the pain was so strong that he decided to come to a stranger's house just to stop the pain he was feeling. Just to have that stranger do something- anything, that would have overshadowed the pain of Jun leaving him. A stranger whom he told himself he was never going to see again. But Wonwoo went to him still.

Wonwoo can also remember how Mingyu may have been shocked at Wonwoo's arrival, but he welcomed him anyways. And Wonwoo can remember how big of a fool he made himself in front of Mingyu when he just came up with the excuse of treating him for a meal. And the beautiful BMW that Mingyu owned, Wonwoo remembered just how it was like a dream come true it was when Mingyu let him drive it. Along with how stupid he was to forget that he was treating Mingyu that Wonwoo had to go to the nearest Restaurant there was. Thus he remembers how he was reminded that the reason for his diet was all for Jun.