You've noticed the shift in his behaviour since the morning you've arrived at Anne's for a little Christmas celebration. The way his eyes tend to follow you around everywhere, the lingering feeling left behind after he squeezes your hand for a second longer or how the forehead kisses have amplified in number, it makes you feel mushy inside and make you want more of it, more of everything. This sudden shift in the atmosphere has certainly left you confused and anxious but you're not sure if the same thought has occurred to him. If it did, he does not seem to be opposed to it nor does he make any move to congeal the fluidity of it.
But right now, standing in front of him you have a feeling he has a confession to make. There's no telling what it could be. Even though you're not oblivious to where his emotions incline when it comes to you, you've never let yourself believe he could have eyes for someone like you. Your worlds are poles apart from each other and there's no way you can ever imagine yourself in his place, living a life similar to his. The whirlwind, the chaos, it's all too overwhelming for you. Over the years, your friendship has survived many obstacles and its one thing you love about him and being friends with him that he hasn't let all the luminosity blind him in any way. Hasn't let his crazy lifestyle affect your dynamic and hasn't allowed himself to ever take your presence for granted (even though he constantly feels like he does, you can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice when he has to turn down your suggestions for a movie night or a small get together with all the friends and family because of his job and the constant need for him to be somewhere in the public eye). He has his moments where he just absolutely needs to be left alone or at least in the company of those dearest to him after a heavy exposure to the media or a world tour, more times than not he misses a parties and dinners you and the rest of your friends plan. But he always comes back after having gone for a long time; showing up at your place sometimes alone or sometimes with a company of one of your other friends to settle in for a night full of catching up on each other, sharing and reminiscing over lost moments and new accomplishments. It's a nice way to pick up where you left the last time he was busy pleasing the world, it's as if he'd never been gone at all. Your relationship with him is something he values more than anything else and it'd be a shame if you lost each other and the beautiful friendship you'd created together. The thought of any further advancements into this relationship seems foreign to you, makes you feel as if what you currently have is much more better than trying to find something you're unsure about finding with each other and risking to burn a good relationship in the way and it's why you always settle yourselves to be happy to be his best buddy, a pal he can always come to when the world and its responsibilities become a little too much for him and vice versa. A little less than what you think you might want is better than having nothing at all, right?
Wrong. Harry thinks it's absolutely wrong and unfair that you're not even ready to give him a chance, to give them a chance to take it further and see if they can find what they'd been looking for a long time. It's a risk, he agrees but the possible outcome he expects is what makes him trust that the risk can change their lives for better. Maybe he's a little biased and is looking at everything through pink heart shaped glasses but he can't deny the fact that the thought of having something so special like this with you makes him feel a little more alive, a little more hopeful about his life. He's been thinking about it for quite some time now, picturing himself in scenarios that might not fit very well in the best friend narrative you have but when he thinks about it, he can't trace himself back to the time when he hadn't thought of you in a way more than a friend does. Maybe it was there since the time you were kids, lingering around in the back of his head since then. And he also doesn't think you're unaware of the fact that he does, maybe you thought that it might go away as the pair of you grew up. Maybe that's why you'd always ignored his suggestive actions for such a long time. Who would've thought Harry freaking Styles would get friend zoned? He wants to laugh at it but he knows it hurts him too much to think that the one person he's had a silent crush on for such long period of time doesn't want him despite the fact that they know how he feels about them. It's tragic and pitiful. Even though he has so much power in his hands, he cannot do anything to make you like him that way. Well, maybe sometimes it turns out to be good for him because he can always pour it out into his songs and make people yearn for the love they always wanted, just like him. But quite frankly, he's tired of writing about how fucking lonely he is and how he's never known what real love feels like because he's never experienced it in the first place. He wants to write and sing about how much he loves being loved by the person that loves him and how much he loves loving them back, how it feels to be the one receiving when he's always used to giving. Yeah, it's tragic really.
