(for lazy purposes, H is hajime, N is Nagito, T is Tenko, C is Chiaki and M is Monomi)
Hajime approches Nagito for Free Time.
H: "Hey Nagito, why do you have a Spotify playlist just full of Gospel Music?"
N: "Hajime, what do you mean? How do you even know?"
H: "Doesnt answer my question, why is there a playlist called I am Gay?"
N: "Answer mine, why do you have my Spotify?"
H: "Chiaki gave it to me-"
Nagito cut Hajime off on that sentence bc he wasnt having it.
N: "Why did Chiaki?!-"
Tenko then comes in the room, for some reason,
T: "Hey wheres Himiko? I need her to mi-"
H: "shush and get out"
Tenko then leaves, and plans to kill hajime in the future.
H: "Nagito... Why do you have a playlist called 'Hajime has big tits'?"
N: "Why do you have access to my Spotify?"
H: "Chiaki gave it to me!"
N: "Call Chiaki."
Hajime called Chiaki because Nagito forgot his phone.
[ring ring]
M: "Heyo! Its me!"
H: "Shut up you pink rabbit and get me to Chiaki."
M: "Aww, fine!"
[Ring ring]
C: "Hey, who this?"
N: "Why did you give Hajime my spotify?"
C: "So he can expose you. Besides, why do you have a playlist called 'Hajime has a tight butt", riddle me that."
There was then an akward silence.
H: " Nagito, how did you know?"
Chiaki then burst out laughing over the phone.
N: "Chiaki, name some of Hajime's-"
Tenko then breaks the door.
T: "My playlists are, 'Himiko has big t!ts', Himiko has a fat bunda'-"
H: "We dont care, get out.. And pay for the door aswell!"
T: "Nah, I dont pay dEgEnErAtE mAlEs."
Tenko then left.
She didnt pay because she had no money.
Tenko actually spent it on getting Himiko a fancy dinner.
H: "Nagito, heres another playlist that I dont know why you have, 'Hajime gets all the bishes."
N: "Hajime, first you dont know what an octogon is and now you cant read. It says 'Hajime gets no bishes".
C: "No, Hajimes right, the playlist says all the bishes."
Nagito has more playlists they haven't named, such as "Hope (x2000)" and "dead dog"
But one thing he is hoping not for them to find is his user name.
"Nagitosmegat!ts"
N: "Hey Chiaki, expose some of Hajimes playlists."
Chiaki then thought hard about that decision. Harder than she had to think for tetris.
C: "... Okay. Hajime, of all playlist names, why do you have one called 'Nagito has a tight ahh'? Its just one song, W.A.P."
Hajime was doomed. And has now been forced into a Exposing battle.
They went on and on exposing eachothers weird ahh playlist names. And Chiaki and Monomi sat there, over the phone.
And finally,
[Bing bong, ding dong]
Monokuma: "its 10pm, go the hell to sleep."
N: "Hey Hajime, sleep in my cottage tonight?"
H: "... Nagito?"
N: " Is that a yes."
H: "No."
Hajime then leaves likes a material boi.
Chiaki was hella glad she was muted, as she hung up. She and Monomi were so loud that both Tenko and Monokuma had to shut them tf up.
the end lmao
(ill post more eventually, if you enjoyed this)
(if you thought that this was a serious one shot book or sm then how did you not see the buff monokuma pic.. and no i wont do actual hajime x nagito books)
(579 words)
