June 9th., 2022: On a car ride home from school (6:39pm)

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I thought a train of thoughts that gave me a very vivid image of death, or what happens right before it.

My smile is fake.

My chest hurts so bad for those couple of seconds, I thought I was about burst out crying.

My act must be perfect.

But I'm ignoring it now, even though it feels wrong. It's just the only way I can deal with these intrusive thoughts.

God help me, if you exist.

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