You Can't Hurt Me

Alone again, naturally

Race bit his hand, feeling his skin prickle against his teeth, trying to quench the sounds of his uncontrollable sob. He had never felt this alone, he'd always missed his mom, and his house always felt a person empty, but he'd at least always had his dad. Race can't think of a point in his life, where his dad wasn't there. Jack hated him, and all he did was bother him. Jack could have been shot protecting Race. He remembered how light the gun felt in his hands, how easy it would be to pull the trigger and end someone's life, forever.

Race hated the world, it was cruel, heartless, it pulled at him and prodded him until he had nothing left to give. It picked at his skin until he was just a pile of forgotten bones. But most of all? It seemed the world hated him.

He scratched his nails against his arms, trying to feel anything other than emptiness. But no matter how much he shouted, sobbed, broke the skin holding his body together, all he felt was the crippling, weighing, heaviness of how truly and utterly alone in the world he was.

Freaking hell, his only friends were the stars in the skies, and college graduates who pitied him. He couldn't decide which was worse, which was pitiful in itself.

At least the stars couldn't hurt him.

Race gasped for air. No, he grasped for air, any air to fill his lungs. They caved in and he wheezed desperately. He curled into a ball on himself and put his head in his knees, finally catching his breath.

"Race im so sorry, I didn't mean it! I was just scared."

"Can you just," Race grasped for the words, but he couldn't find enough feelings in simple phrases so instead he just said, "go away."

And Jack did.

Race couldn't take it, he climbed out of the window and shimmed down the fire escape. He's done it before, but this was the first time he didn't know where he was going.

He allowed only the moon to guide him, the cheap street lamps too far or too late to be turned on to do any good.

He saw a beautiful archway with blue flowers along the edge, and well they were pretty comforting so Race walked through them, crisping the sides with his fingers on edge.

He half expected a garden, instead he found a large bridge connecting over a large sum of water. Concrete and all that, so it had to be safe.

He walked along it, and sat down on the edge looking down into the water, no air conditioning, no dingy smell, just Race and his thoughts. He loved it.

He threw a rock in to see how deep it went, which he realized was pretty stupid because he couldn't see inside the water. However, it certainly wasn't shallow at least.

The moon wasn't full, but it shone against the water creating a soft glisten that Race could almost imagine a sound too.

And now, looking down at the water, Race didn't feel so alone. So he stayed there for a few hours, just to soak in the beauty.

He did go home though and by the time he does, it's nearly day. He closed his eyes and attempted to sleep but he would hardly call 2 hours sleeping, more of an intense nap.

Jack was already downstairs, reading the newspaper which Race found incredibly stupid because anything you would wanna know is on your phone at this point. A bowl of cereal was set out for Race which he greedily ran to.

"Why do you still pay for that." Race pointed his cereal spoon at it, flicking a couple corn flakes onto Jacks page. He grabbed one and flicked it towards Race again, landing just a few inches away from Race's precious hair.