You know what feeling I hate the most? The feeling I get when the subject of food comes up.
I see people eat and mixed feelings suddenly bubble up.
It goes anywhere from hearing the word food, or eat, or even someone talking about food and already feeling naucious from just listening.
To watching someone eat and feel jealous. Jealous that its so easy for them to fill their stomachs. That they don't worry so much to point of not eating or feel sick every time they go near food.
I feel angered because they shouldn't be near me with it. They should know I have issues and what are they doing but eating in my face.
I get really sad and want to break down crying because I miss being okay and being able to eat and enjoy things but we all know its in the past and I am a monster now.
All of these feelings over a 4 letter word "f-o-o-d" I can't even say it without feeling queasy or wanting to cry.
You know this feeling? Its supposed to be "normal" to eat and/or stuff your face. I wouldn't know that feeling. I want to be able to know at some point. I try but it gets 100x worse when I do.
After I do manage to eat which is rare. I automatically look at my stomach, them look at the mirror, then cry.
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Writer's Life
RandomHey guys! so I have decided to take my feelings out in a better way then cutting so I decided to write. Everything in here is straight from my heart and no editing was put in to it. All of this is what I feel. So let me know what you guys think. Don...
