Hawk Heart

20. Fissure

In order to weasel information out of Kai, I asked him to prepone our 'date.' He readily agreed to meet me the next afternoon at my place. 

My dad wasn't home, spending a lot of time in preparations for the carnival. On the other hand, I was a bit surprised that Kai had agreed. How come he wasn't busy during this time? Or maybe it was just lucky. Or he specifically made time for me. With the recent developments, I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. 

The next afternoon, he was waiting for me in the foyer, leaning against the wall and staring glassy eyed in front. I stopped for a second in my tracks, reminiscing that day at the lake and then quickly brushing it off. Maybe he was a bit creepy, but was he dangerous? He didn't appear to be. Maybe it was just his crush making him act this way. His loneliness. I couldn't help but pity the guy a little. 

"Hey," I said as he turned around, his eyes widening as if he had just realised where he was. 

"Oh, hi," he nodded and stopped leaning against the wall. It took me a few more seconds to realize what he was wearing. My t-shirt. 

My stomach turned and I took a step back. Was it too late to just back off? 

He noticed me staring at his clothes and glanced down once, his face turning pink. I didn't say anything. What could I even say to him? Maybe he expected me to comment on it? Would my silence encourage his strange behaviour? 

"Thanks for meeting me," he said with a beaming smile. "I was looking forward to this." 

I nodded but refrained from lying. How would Zeph react if he saw Kai right now? Probably not the best. 

We stepped outside into the street and walked silently for a while. The air between us felt thick with tension. The awkwardness making me very aware of each step. How could I ask him? 

"How's the training going?" I asked, desperate to break the silence somehow. 

"Hectic, exhausting," he said immediately, as if he too was as relieved  about breaking the silence as I was. He shook his head as he continued, "The carnival is getting closer so they're really going all out. Apparently this time its supposed to be even bigger than usual."

"Bigger as in...how? Like, they're doing something different?" I asked. I hadn't heard my dad mention about anything being different at the carnival this time. But then, it was possible that he did mention and I simply hadn't paid attention. 

"Well," he shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. "Er...once again, I'm not really supposed to tell you. Like...I guess you will find out in a couple of weeks." 

Once again with the secrecy. Was it really forbidden for him to tell anyone anything? Or was he just doing that so I would beg? I wouldn't put it past him at this point. Nonetheless, I wasn't going to do that just yet. 

"This big reveal thing...are you part of it as well?" I asked. 

He nodded. "Oh yes, of course. Me and like...a bunch of others." 

"Other lightwielders," I said.

"N-" he began, his eyes widening as he quickly shut his mouth, biting his bottom lip. 

"No?" I asked innocently. "There are...others?" 

He sighed, his shoulders slumping. "You won't tell anyone right? The secrecy thing is really serious at the academy....I was once sent to Sanctum for breaking it."

I nodded eagerly. He would never find out even if I told Zeph and the others. I couldn't imagine any circumstance under which they would meet anyway. 

He glanced around the busy street before he grabbed my hand and started leading me away from the pavement. I followed him quietly and we stopped at the mouth of a deserted alleyway. Outside on the main road people were still flocking in and out of the stores, but no one seemed to be paying attention to the alley.