march 16, 2017
billie and i say quietly in the grass, she rambled on about something i did not understand.
i was in front of her, knees up to my chest as i stared. i was more concentrating on how her lips moved swiftly, how her eyes shimmered as she spoke about something she loved, and how her hands swung around in the air as she made out what she was saying.
every action billie took seemed to make me smile or chuckle in some way. everything about her was hypnotizing, her bright blue eyes seem to have a magnet.
and it kept pulling me toward her.
"no, but eden, he's just a god-like his lyrics top fucking tier!"
i think she was talking about tyler the creator, hell i don't know. i was just paying attention to the beautiful girl in front of me.
i leaned my head on my knees, smiling like the stupid girl i am. she looked down at me, her words trailing off as she focused on my eyes.
"finish, i'm listening" i assured her.
billie smiled shaking her head and then continued talking, which made me get butterflies instantly.
"i wanna meet him one day, he's fucking cool" she finished on that topic slumping down in her seat. "we could meet him someday!"
i looked down, she always seemed to add me to the picture with something she wanted to do.
"yeah, sure" i whispered with a sigh.
i hate that she doesn't know.
"anyways love, let's talk about something you wanna talk about."
i pushed my hair behind my ear, it was getting way too long for my liking, and the blonde had faded at my roots so now it's kinda brown.
"um,-" i started.
"anything, something i don't know" billie put her full attention on me.
i still couldn't figure out what to say and billie laughed, "just tell me anything i don't care."
i looked into the sky, "i have an undying love for the moon."
billie licks her lips tilting her head as she did she answered "why?"
"when you sit comfortably or lie down on the grass and gaze at the moon, it's easy to be reminded of how ancient and eternal planets and stars are. sometimes i like to look at her when i feel alone, and when i do i feel just a little less alone. i like to think that someone out there is looking at her on another piece of grass just observing."
"and she's pretty. very pretty. in all phases."
i pushed the hair out of my face for the millionth time tonight, "i feel like we have this connection that i just can't snap off. all my life the moon has been just my calming place, i don't know i just— find her relaxing i guess."
"i often get jealous of how people have stood on her and not me. i feel like i should be able to experience that blissful moment, i feel like they don't know her as i do. it's stupid really, but i feel like people take advantage of our beautiful world too often."
i looked at billie, she had this look unfamiliar on her face.
"what" i smiled softly.
"you are incredible, you know that" billie whispered and i blushed.
it was a comfortable silence as billie stared into my eyes. she smiles softly "hey eden?"
"yes eilish," i said softly, breaking my gaze from the sky.
"if i were the sky, you'd be my moon."
i immediately blush, actually, it was a bit more than that. my entire face had turned red and i was very hot, my hands get sweaty almost instantly, as i take my eyes off of billie.
"really," i asked, to which billie leans in to kiss my lips "yes baby."
"well, what does that really mean" i shyly asked, billie chuckles, leaning into my lips. she doesn't kiss them, no, instead she whispers the words "it means i have an undying love for you."
i giggle to hide my shyness. i almost burst, at the way her eyes lower and kiss me once more.
"i wish i could put into words how i feel about you but i can't, it's too overwhelming, eden" billie begins to say, "i can't even fucking— eden you're so special, it's crazy."
"you make crazy eilish" i chuckle, "i love you."
she smiles laying her head on my chest "i don't know what id do without you. i want to grow old with you eden, you are my soulmate."
i barely knew billie— subjectivity.
she is my soulmate as well, i think, i liked the way billie made me feel. she had this spark, this glow, something so precious couldn't ever be ignored.
so i fell in love with her, and it's not the kind of thing that words can adequately describe. it just happened, something so beautiful— happened to me.
"you are my soulmate eilish, my best friend, my everything," i say, "i love you, i love you."
"to the moon," she asked jokingly, laying her head on my lap.
"and back, eilish."
858 words
