september 17, 2022
as i walked into the front door of my home i call out for my wife, "eilish" i yelled.
"on the couch my love" i hear her, i soon notice her in the living room, petting the soft pit bull next to her.
i turn to billie, a smile on her face. "you should sit" she says "you look exhausted."
i shake my head, "but dinner" i say to which billie scolds me "no, i'll do it, i need you to relax."
"what do you feel like," billie says as she makes her way to the kitchen of our home. anything billie made i would eat, so i truly didn't care.
"anything love" i responded to which she laughs "how about my noodle soup, that you oh so love."
i laughed as well "that sounds nice."
billie doesn't respond as i can hear her beginning to cook. i never truly believed in soulmates because they always seemed too good to be true, but living with billie, building a life with her, has certainly proved me wrong.
we were so young when we met, i wonder how we made it past the ugly teenager stage together.
but billie always stuck beside me, even when she got all big and famous.
id always believed that being alone was a curse. despite my best efforts, it remained true that my head was filled with fear and that my heart was filled with lunacy.
but billie proved to me that i was never truly alone, i was just in fear. i was scared of myself, i was scared of life.
billie has never given up on me, never, though i think i've given her plenty of reasons to, she still loves me, she is still in love with me.
and for that, i am truly great-full.
-
as i'm brushing my hair, billie comes up behind me, resting her head on my shoulder as she rubs my stomach.
"thought of names yet," she asked quietly, i chuckle "how'd you feel about june?"
she smiles slightly, kissing my neck briefly "anything you want my love."
i smiled loving that billie has been so supportive. everything i do, she is in full support, she's always been like this and i loved her for it.
i loved billie for everything.
i'm not sure how our relationship makes so much sense in general, but i've always had sort of an understanding. the way billie loves is different than any love i've experienced, though i'm sure the "love" before, wasn't even love.
billie saved me from the torment, the hurt, the suffering, she showed me, love.
i remembered when billie and i would talk for hours under the sun, talking about our future, talking about things we would do when we finally lived together— just simply being in love.
there was once even a time when billie jokingly proposed to me, though i held that moment close to my heart.
sometimes i see and feel the light in her eyes, the warmth of her heart, and when i do, i fall in love all over again.
as i follow billie into bed, i tuck my head into her neck, clutching her tightly.
she laughs "comfortable?"
"more than that" i mumble.
billie only hums, putting her hand into my hair "i love you."
"to the moon" i jokingly asked, digging up an old memory. billie laughs "and back, my love."
573 words
