•☆Monokuma's Special motive☆• [REWRITE]

{8}

☆•Those three words•☆

•Kokichi's POV•

My head ached. So did my eyes and limbs. I wished I never had to wake up again. I wish the world would just go away and disappear. I hated it all. The guilt and loneliness were eating away at me everyday. I felt like I didn't know myself, like a stranger. I barely knew anything anymore, I felt like a burnt out student. It was all an endless cycle of misery.

It continuously cycled everyday and I forced myself to keep going. All I could do was waste space and piss people off. I wasn't anything more than a nuisance.  I was only here to suffer and endure pain for the sake of the people I cared about.

I didn't want anyone's pity, I wanted anything but that. I hated being looked at like I was pathetic. My only reason to keep living was Dice, but I've lost them as well, nothing mattered anymore. There was no escaping this feeling, I drowned myself with self pity and hatred, there was no escape. The only way I saw myself was pathetic. 

I wanted to be angry at someone. I wanted to hate everyone. I wanted to blame everyone but myself. I wanted to rise and be loved by all. But...

I failed everyone and myself.

The cycle continued.

I battle myself everyday, but I can't seem to win. I don't dare tell anyone about my struggling. I don't want my pity. Instead, I just hide.  I hide my wasting body in cloth. I hide my pity behind selfish acts. I guess you can kind of say I wished for death-

"Wake up.."

"Kokichi! Wake up!"

My eyes shot open as I sat up fast. My breathing hitched and cold sweat trickled down my forehead. I think that was another nightmare. As I tried catching my breath I looked next to me to find Shuichi sitting with me.

"Kokichi, Are you ok?" He said panicked.

"Uh y-yeah I'm fine, thanks I guess.."

My response was quick and shallow. Shuichi let out a defeated sigh.. again.

"Um..do you need anything like a glass of water?"

I had realized that my breathing was still fast and unsteady and my throat was dry. It took me a few moments to process what he had just asked me.

"Yeah, go get me one."

I watched Shuichi walk to the bathroom. I was still waking up so I just sat there, thinking. Just as Shuichi came back holding a glass the morning announcements went off. I covered my ears as the announcement sounded louder than usual. Shuichi handed me the glass and then sat at the foot of the bed.

"Are you doing ok...Kokichi? Did you sleep alright?"

Looking back on the events of last night I couldn't decide if I wanted to lie or not. Thinking about everything I said last night made my eyes start to water.

"I...I slept...fine, I mean it was normal."

I shifted my gaze back down to my hands, picking on skin. I didn't know what else to say so make if I pretended to be occupied he'd leave me alone, that mindset didn't work though because Shuichi held my hand in his..

•Shuichi's POV•

I reached out and grabbed Kokichi's hand. He recoiled at fist but than accepted it. The look on his face was one similar to the several he made last night, distressed. It was a look that someone made when they just wanted to cry. He seemed so...miserable. I couldn't blame him though. The truth was hurting him so he just hid from it...