Grace and Amari | (GxG) | Lesbian

Chapter 7: The anxiety.

TW: anxiety, panic attack.

The time flew by and in a few hours, I was already at home trying to recharge my social battery after spending most of the day with people. 

My eyes wandered to the clock that was hanging on the wall in front of me. It was 5 pm already.

I felt exhausted and groaned softly. 

As soon as I sat on the sofa to watch something I immediately blushed as I remembered last evening and how close I felt to Amari. I felt my cheeks turn slightly red, and my heart skipped a beat when thinking about the fact that she would willingly come back today to see me again.

- "Oh my god, I forgot that she's coming today too!" 

I exclaimed quietly under my breath. I ran my hands through my hair quickly before getting up from the sofa and going to my room. I opened my wardrobe and started picking outfits so I look pretty for her today. I started to wonder if I ever even cared that much about my appearance. 

I never was a social person and got scolded a lot by my parents for not being able to communicate with others. It was never important to me how I dress and how people view me, and I never let anyone get close enough to really care. 

Until now. Now I'm starting to notice how fast I'm changing because of Amari. I like her, I like her a lot. So much so that I want to impress her. And I definitely was trying to impress her since our first meeting. I want her to like me, but at the same time, I'm not even sure if she likes girls. All I know is that I want her. That I'm attracted to her. I don't know why, because I've known her only for 2 days and yet there I am falling for her already. If only I knew how to talk to her without sounding stupid or awkward. 

As I kept trying to pick clothes and fix my hair, I suddenly realized that I hadn't even bothered checking my phone all day to see if she texted me or not. 

What did I expect anyway? Of course, she hasn't. I shouldn't be overthinking it right now, but I can't control my emotions. My heart was beating faster than usual when thinking about seeing her again and I was starting to get excited about the idea of us spending more time together. I mean, I'd rather spend some time with her than spend my night alone thinking about her. But let's be honest, I still will spend the whole night just thinking about her. So, I guess that means I have to be extra careful about how I'm acting, right? And also make sure to act normal and confident around her and don't make a fool out of myself in front of her with all this blushing and awkwardness. 

Yeah... I guess I should try to relax a little and stop being so nervous whenever I see her. Maybe, just maybe, she'll return my feelings. I hope so because it's going to be hard for me to hide these things from her and I know deep down that if she doesn't feel the same way about me, then I'll eventually lose her completely. 

I shook off all the thoughts and finally chose the outfit for the evening: a white t-shirt and beige overalls since we'll be working in the garden and I have to dress appropriately even though I wanted to wear something that will look cuter or more put together. I pulled my red hair into a ponytail and applied some light makeup. I almost never use makeup because I don't think I'm very feminine, but I figured that maybe this time I should. I didn't want to appear weird or overdone. I'm not super confident either, so I need to make the effort to look my best for her today. I checked myself out in the mirror one last time before exiting my room. 

 I didn't want to want to seem annoying so I decided to not text her and ask when she will come because she might think that I'm too excited to see her and I don't want to seem clingy or desperate. So, I just tried to keep myself occupied while waiting for her.