The Wish

Thoughts...

The following days were filled with all kinds of preparations for the upcoming battle. I had been training for hours and hours, I have never been this nervous. I was so afraid of failing my people, of failing my family that I couldn't sleep or eat. I could see that Caspian was really worried but he knew it was no use to try to convince me of sleeping or to eat. He was aware of the fact that I would be back to normal once this war was over and when our plan succeeded, that's why he left me alone for most of the time. 

Today was different though, I could feel that something was about to happen. I decided to tell my husband about this feeling and went to his study where he was probably stressing as much as I did. I knocked on the door and waited for his response "Go away, I'm busy!" he yelled agitatedly. I walked in anyway and he looked up with a surprised look in his eyes, I guess he didn't expect me to come to visit him. I could see how tense he was and decided to crack a joke "How dare you speak to your queen like that?!" I got a small smile in response. "I'm sorry, I figure you were another general who was going to tell me that everything is going to be all right, although I have the feeling something bad is about to happen to us" he admitted with a sad tone in his voice. "I know, my love. I have the same feeling, I have the feeling that something is going to happen today. That's why I came here, I suggest we double the guards." "That's a good idea but something tells me that Morus won't be stopped by the guards," he said with a serious frown "I know my love but something is better than nothing. We have to use everything we can to just slow them down so we can get ready when needed" "Luckily I have you to calm me down and help me remember the bigger picture" he faintly smiled "I guess that's why we're married my king" "I guess so" he said walking to me to give a peck on the forehead. 

I could that his shoulders loosened a little bit, but even a little satisfied me. We were all tense and I will be more than happy when this is finally over. "It's now our time to prove that we are worthy of this kingdom and its people in it," I said standing up and reaching out my hand for my husband, he took it and looked me in the eyes "We will prove ourselves worthy" "We will, my king," I said giving him a small kiss. "Let's get to work," I said before letting go of his hand and leaving his study. This day was the same as any other day that we spend preparing for this battle that would come eventually, the only question is when? 

The next time I saw my husband was the next day during supper. Even when we are in the battle we try to eat with the whole family. Everyone was here except for Lucy. Her condition hasn't changed sadly. Even Diana and Thena joined us for dinner and that wasn't a surprise seeing as Peter and Thena were inseparable, same goes for Ed and Diana. We all sat at the big wooden table that was set with beautiful porcelain plates and silver cutlery. The maid made sure that there were also flowers present to lighten up the dark space. As for my sibling, you could clearly see how tense they were. Everyone wanted their life to go back to normal. But that will only go when we defeated the stupid cat.

Everyone was quiet, there was this tension hanging in the air. I had the feeling that everyone was losing their faith and I wish I could do something about it but I have no idea what. The silence was broken by Peter who tried to make conversation by asking about our day and the training protocol. I could see Susan getting annoyed by the battle talk I could see that by the way that she was playing annoyed with her peas. That's when I tried to lighten the mood "Hey Su, do you remember when you were telling me about Narnia and I thought you all some really great weed brownies?" that got a small smile from her "Of course, I remember that, you should've seen your face when we transported from that train station to the beach." "I wouldn't change that memory for the world, you looked like you had seen a ghost but a friendly one though" Ed smiled. "I just can't believe that that happened all these years ago. I mean look where you are now, you're married and leading a kingdom now. I'm proud of you sis" Peter said with a little smile. 

After the little trip down memory lane, we all went to our rooms trying to get some sleep but we all knew it was hopeless. When I got to my bedroom together with Caspian, I felt exhausted and dead inside. This war was really draining me of all my energy. I sat on my big red velvet chair that stood in the corner of the bedroom and changed into my nightgown. My thoughts took control of my mind and I sat there doing nothing but think. 

Suddenly I was pulled from my thoughts by two steady hands massaging my shoulders "Where are you with your thoughts my queen?" "I'm just thinking about what's going to happen" "It's no use wrapping your head around that Maria, we can't forecast what's going to happen." "I know, I just hate being in the dark" "I know my love, but there's nothing that we can do about it. We have to accept it and try to get some rest," he said with a calm voice. He was right but I won't be able to let this go. I got into my warm bed and snuggled up against the one person that could make me feel safe in times like that. I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep since there was this weird feeling bugging me that something will happen tonight. It will probably turn out to be just a feeling but it sure doesn't feel like that right now. After some time, I could hear Caspian's breathing getting slower. He fell asleep, the lucky bastard. It kind off calmed me to hear his breath slowly. It calmed me so much that after some time I doze as well.