An Early Morning Dream | KSJ

10: "You" - Me?

~[31/12/2022]

Lee Ae Rin's POV:

"I think... I think I already like you!" Standing under the half moonlight like a knight in search of her lost princess, Kim Seok Jin - the guy I am trying hard not to fall for, just confessed to me.

Even though I have noticed his beautiful side, I never realized how charming he looks. The permed black hair bangs almost swaying with his blinking eyes makes me wonder what his morning mess hair would look like. His eyes are so beautiful that I cannot take off my eyes from them. And just like that, we locked our eyes from a certain distance.

I wish to be with this man right now. No. I WANT TO BE WITH HIM. 

However, the reason I'm free to go to college is partially because I have never been caught with any guy yet. Else, I would have been a housewife by now. My mom would never want to send me off this early but my dad isn't the loving dad every princess would have. If my dad, the Incheon gang leader ever happens to find me with any guy, I'm getting married the next moment. Definitely not with the guy I'm in love with, but the one he wishes to select.

Do I want to date this guy and later marry someone else? Or do I want to love him all by myself and later find a better way to escape from my dad?

I don't know. Currently, my head hurts too much to even think. I want to kiss this prince standing in front of me but at the same time, I feel like someone is screaming my name in my head, trying to wake me up.

I hear these weird sounds, distracting me away from Kim Seokjin. 

Ae Rin... Wake up! Don't you have classes?

"Ae Rinaa!" He calls my name because I just broke the eye-contact with him, groaning in pain with the sound buzzing in my head.

I take a deep breath and look at him again. 

I cannot. I cannot do this. I'm sorry. 

"Are you confessing right now?" I speak, as friendly as I can.

"I guess... I am!"

"Then you must be drunk," I again say with a stupid grin on my face.

I just wish he thinks that I'm drunk. But I can see the shine in his eyes fading away. I can see him dropping his head down in disappointment. He wasn't expecting me to turn him down, was he? 

He is looking down and he keeps doing that. There is an awkward silence between us. He doesn't look at me anymore and that breaks my heart. THAT FREAKING HURTS. Pushing away the person you want to be with hurts more than the pain I'm feeling right now with those weird buzzing sounds in my head.

He inhales through his teeth and nodded his head as if he understood something. 

"You are right. I must be drunk, haha!" a fake laugh escapes his mouth and he steps backwards.

He is still not looking at me but continues to speak.

"I guess, I shouldn't be following you anymore. I should go back," he says and leaves saying Good Night!

That's it. He went his way. I went my way. I don't know how we are going to behave from now. I don't want to be awkward. The best possible thing that can happen is, he forgets me. 

I wish him happiness. I wish he finds someone who can make him look up with pride and happiness on his face.

---

A couple of days later:

Usually, I eat my lunch with Tae to discuss the Incheon federation management. But today, Jisoo happen to drag me to the canteen as Jimin was getting late.