~[22/02/2023]
Lee Ae Rin's POV:
Another day: Dying to see him...
As soon as I enter college, memories of the day I first met Jin hover in my mind like thunderstorm clouds. It was the day he almost got killed by the Seoul gang, and I can't believe I had yelled calling him a rascal when he was on the verge of losing his life.
Once again, I get late for my Bang Bang's class and I am now forced to stand in the back of the room. But I can't focus on the lecture. Instead, my mind wanders back to the day when I went to the infirmary with Namjoon to help Jin and got late for my classes. Joon gestures to me during the lecture if everything is alright with me. Even he notices that something is off with me. Can't Seokjin look at what I am feeling?
Lunchtime arrives, and I head to the canteen only to find that there's no soup on the menu today. It's a small thing, but it makes me miss Jin even more. I wonder what else he might have cooked, but I've never tasted his food before, so I don't even know where to begin.
In the washroom, I catch a glimpse of the still-dark purple mark on my neck, and I almost hit my head on the wall in frustration. I can't help but miss Jin more and more with each passing moment.
Even in the library, I find myself thinking of him. I imagine him searching for his book and wonder if he's thinking of me too.
It's a complicated mix of emotions. I miss him, but I'm also angry that he is ignoring me. I want him to kiss me, but at the same time, I don't want to get into a relationship.
Everything around me seems dead as if the world itself is mourning when the fact is I myself am dead in this living world. The world around me is living and enjoying the colorful season with the sweet chirping of the birds, while I am merely an empty shell, wandering aimlessly without any purpose or direction, waiting for someone who might never come back to me.
---
It's 7:30 pm and I finish all of my classes and preparation for my linear algebra test tomorrow. I'm finally on my way back home. As I head back home, without catching a single sight of Seokjin, my heart feels heavy with the weight of the day.
As I walk, I surprisingly spot Seokjin sitting on the footpath, surrounded by stray dogs. But he's not the same Seokjin I know. He looks different, like an ocean without water.
Why is he here? What is he doing?
My heart sinks as I watch him feed the dogs with his trembling hands, offering them the leftover kimchi fried rice from the canteen. Tears are streaming down his face, and he's talking to the dogs as if they're the only ones who understand him.
Why is he crying? Did something happen?
What could have happened though? I didn't hear anything particular on campus.
He looks absolutely shattered like his world has been turned upside down. His face is contorted in pain and he seems to be lost in his own world of misery. His eyes are red and puffy like he's been crying for hours.
As the dogs finish their meal and wander off, he starts to eat. Eat the same food he fed the dogs. But the moment the food touches his lips, he bursts into a river of tears. I don't know if I should go and be there beside him or give him some space and time. I just can't see him suffer like that. It hurts. I can feel the lump of pain in my chest.
I stand there, watching him break down, and I can't help but wonder what could have happened to him. I feel like I'm suffocating under the weight of his pain.
He eventually composes himself and leaves without noticing me. I stand there for a moment, feeling the weight of his pain lingering in the air before I make my way back home. The world around me feels numb and lifeless, and my heart is heavy with sadness.
My sadness of not seeing him is nothing in front of the unbearable pain he was feeling. It's a heartbreaking sight to witness, and my heart feels like it's breaking into a million pieces as I watch him suffer in silence.
---
Ae Rin's house:
As soon as I walk into my house, the familiar smell of my eomma's cooking embraces me in a warm hug. She smiles at me and prepares the dinner table for us. The sound of clinking plates and clattering cutlery quickly pulls me back to my childhood, when she cooked for me every day.
As we eat our dinner, eomma asks how my day was, and I can't help but sigh. She notices that something is bothering me "Is everything okay?" she asks.
I don't respond, lost in my own thoughts. Instead, I make an excuse that I have to leave, needing to get out of the house. I can't bear the thought of her finding out about my feelings for Seokjin nor I can stay at home like this. This is suffocating me.
"Aerin, your father will be furious if he finds out that you're not home," she warns me.
"I know, eomma. But Jisoo is sick, and I have to go see her," I lie, knowing that if my father finds out, he might force me into an arranged marriage.
Somehow I convince eomma and leave the house, following my feet, wherever they take me.
========================
Hey, everyone! ❤️
Why do you think Seokjin is having a hard time?
I know you all are curious about the next chapter. So stay tuned 😂
Please VOTE ⭐, COMMENT & SHARE <3
Borahae 💜
YOU ARE READING
An Early Morning Dream | KSJ
FanfictionA story of a young man - Kim Seokjin - who flees from his homeland in search of happiness when he falls in love with someone he shouldn't have. What happens when both the love birds are endangered with their lives and seek for a way to escape from...
