20: Like those stars ☆

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~[23/02/2023]

Lee Ae Rin's POV:

As I leave my house, walking through the night, I see stars twinkle in the sky like tiny lanterns, leading me to Seokjin's hostel. With every step I take, my heart beats faster thinking about the moment I saw him crying. I want to help him. I want to make him feel better and be there for him.

As I reach his room, I take a deep breath before giving a gentle knock. I wait for a while but get no response.

Maybe he didn't hear me.

I knock again and wait. My heart throbs anxiously. 

What's taking him too long?

Is he even there? 

With still some hope left, I knock for the last time. Fortunately, I hear some footsteps and the door opens wide. 

There he is.

But... but he looks pale and sad. His eyes are like the color of red wine with water drops rolling down his temples. His hair is damp and he has only a towel wrapped around his waist. He must be taking shower. However, despite his drained appearance, he still looks like the sun revealing from behind the clouds. His eyes' depth draws me towards him as if someone is trying to hypnotize me. I feel a rush of warmth running up my cheeks as he looks deep into my eyes. 

Eomma always told me that someday I'll find someone who would willingly dive deep into my dark blue eyes to search for the pearl. Today, I feel him diving into my eyes. Not sure if he'll find the pearl of happiness though.

He doesn't say anything so I ask him a simple question. "Gwenchana?" (Are you okay?)

I don't know if it's my fault for asking him that because as soon as my words reach his ears, his forehead scrunches up and his eyes pool with tears. He nods and lets me know that he is not fine. He is not okay. He takes a step forward and throws his head on my shoulder.

He bursts into a river of tears. 

He is crying.

Again.

Seokjin is crying.

Just like how we both are at the entrance, neither outside his room nor inside, I'm in a dilemma. I neither know how to comfort him nor do I know why he is crying.

I pull him in a hug and he hugs me back. Tightly. I can feel this hug. It's different. It's the kind of hug that I can feel he was craving for a very long time. 

Sniffing his runny nose, he wraps his hands around my waist. I pat his back and we keep hugging until he calms down. Actually, we hug for so long that we both know we should stop. And we awkwardly stop.

---

It's been almost more than half an hour since I arrived here. I'm waiting for him to put on clothes and be back. Sitting on his bed feels weird but I like it.

As I turn my face from the window, I see him coming towards me in a pair of loose gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt clinging to his chest because of the shower dampness. I can't believe I just hugged him bare chest a while ago. 

He sits near me but he is quiet again. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask soothingly. 

He looks down and refuses to even look at me. He nods. "I don't know."

His voice is too low as if he is not ready to talk to me yet. Wae? What it is that he doesn't even want to share with someone? Or is it because he is still ignoring me? I swear if he doesn't want to talk to me.

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