The Protector

SIXTY-TWO

I turned in the mirror, admiring the white lab coat with the medical school insignia emblazoned on the top left corner. Being a physician had been my dream for so long, and I felt an overwhelming sense of loss playing this particular role in my mother's visit.

"You look incredible!" my mother cooed, hugging me tightly to her, before holding me at arms length again to admire the view. "I can't believe how much your hair has grown, and how much lighter it looks. Texas agrees with you." She smiled as she played with my light brown locks. Amazingly, over the past few days since the breakup with Julian, my hair lightened substantially and had grown like a weed. I looked eerily similar to how I did last year, before Ben died. It was as if the breakup intentionally forced me to try a new hairstyle, or in this case, an old one.

"Mom, stop. Since today is your last day here, I figured we could walk around campus a little before dinner with my friends. And before you catch your red eye," I said with sadness in my heart. These past three days had flown by; between shopping, eating entirely too much Tex-Mex, and watching sappy movies cuddled on the couch of my makeshift apartment. Everything had been perfect. "I don't want you to leave today," I pouted, hugging her as we made our way to the medical building. The wind had died down a little, but everything around campus continued to be an unflattering shade of brown.

"I don't want to leave either, but just think, the next time we see each other you will be that much closer to being finished with medical school and moving back to Oregon." She smiled, believing every word, and I smiled back, but it didn't reach my eyes. I was probably never going back to Oregon, to my life there, and as I pushed the doors to the state of the art medical building open, I fought the tears threatening my eyes.

We walked slowly down the bright hallways and I pointed out various classrooms as if I knew what I was talking about, and she seemed overly interested. I felt like a terrible person for lying to her this way, but I saw no other option.

"I'm glad to see you are so acclimated here, and that there are so many extracurricular activities you can enjoy," she said pointedly, and I followed her gaze. Seated at a table near the back of the student center sat Avery, Paul, Rylee and... Kyler.

"Funny you should say that, these are actually my friends," I said,gesturing to the table.

"Oh my goodness," my mother said warmly, taking her time to shake each and every hand. "I'm so pleased to meet you all."

Kyler stood up and I almost fell over by how hot he looked. He was wearing a white lab coat and black framed glasses. Before shaking his large hand, my mother looked back at me with a huge knowing smile on her face as she caught my reaction. If she only knew half of it.

"I'm so excited to go to dinner with you tonight and get to know all of Perry's friends a little better," my mother said sweetly and Kyler smiled broadly. I couldn't help but feel a little melancholy since they were meeting in this way. Last year I had grandiose plans of Kyler and my mother finally meeting while he and I were living together in Portland, he as a Protector and me as a medical student at OHSU. "I think first I must have a brief old lady nap and a change of shoes," my mother said with a laugh, and I nodded, waving at the group awkwardly before we walked the few blocks back to the apartment. "Kyler sure was cute, and only had eyes for you..." my mother said confidently with a smile. Old lady nap my ass. She only wanted the inside scoop before dinner.

"It's complicated. We had a bit of a history before."

"Before Ben?" My mom asked, and I turned to look at her, surprised she remembered. "Of course I remember Ben. You only dated him for two years and were heartbroken when he broke up with you," she said, reading my mind and I nodded. "I also suspect he may have been the same baseball playing Ben who was murdered at your school this past summer," she said gently. I nodded again, unable to look at her. She didn't know we got back together for a brief time before his death, and it would only make her worry more if she knew. "I thought so. It makes the moping and hair dying and trips to the park make so much more sense," she said with a smile only a mother could give. "It's okay to mourn someone, Perry. God knows I did for years with your father, but it's also okay to move on and to be okay again. And given the way that boy looks at you, and the way you look at him, you should let yourself be open. Who knows, he could be the one great love of your life," she said as I slid my key into the apartment door and opened it.

"Sounds like good advice. Thanks, mom," I said as I gave her a quick hug.

"Plus, I packed a little something you accidentally left at home over the summer. I think it would be perfect for your big birthday night out. It would surely stop him in his tracks, and maybe even give you a birthday kiss..."

"Mom!" I blushed.

"We're both adults here," she admonished as she sorted through her cheetah print suitcase she likely bought on clearance. "Here it is!" she said, pulling out a white piece of fabric, and as she smoothed it down on the gray comforter, I recognized it immediately, my heart in my throat.

"Mom, I can't wear that," I said, exasperated and embarrassed, but she waved a dismissive hand and rifled through her suitcase again.

"I'm sure it still fits," she assured me, completely misreading my tone. "I have your cowboy boots too! I can't believe you left those behind. Aren't you guys going to some country concert tonight?" She shoved the dress and boots into my arms, not waiting for a reply. "Go get changed! We don't have much time." I stared at her for a few seconds, still taking everything in, and marched like a zombie into the bathroom. I stared at the dress for several minutes, hoping it would somehow catch on fire under my heated gaze, but I had no such luck. I picked it up gingerly between two fingers and slipped it over my arms and head, watching as it fell perfectly over my body. My mind slammed violently to wearing it in the courtyard as Peter tried to rape me so many months ago.

"Perry, we have five minutes, shake a leg," my mother nagged, and I bent forward, shoving my feet into the same cheap black pleather cowboy boots. I stepped back from the counter, looking in the mirror again as my mother opened the door. "You look so beautiful, darling." She smiled and tossed my long auburn hair over my shoulder, the waves framing my face. I stared at my deep red lips and wide gray eyes. It was eerie how much I looked like the old me. The me who wasn't broken.