An Unfinished Painting

16- Is this... Death?

  It has been two weeks since the night that May left my house, she has not called or texted. It has been awfully quiet now, lonely actually. The canvas painting that May has yet to finish still stands against the wall in the room that once used to be empty. I have not seen May at the university either, she has not shown up to my class these past two weeks.

"You look pretty out of it." Sidney handed me a cup of coffee, "Something happen?"

"Remember how I told you I started seeing someone?"

"Yeah you had a girlfriend or something right?"

"Well no, but she basically lived with me for a full month." I took a sip of the bitter coffee, "Anyways, the day I went out to dinner with Daisy and Ivan, she came along."

"No fucking way," Sidney's eyes widened as she leaned on the wall of my office room, "You were dating that college student?" I shook my head yes, "The first time you date, you decide to date one of your students." Sidney laughed, "Oh that's too funny Augie."

"I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea if she came with me that night, we didn't even fight. She asked me if I liked  her and I just stood there not knowing what to say."

"Well do you like her?" I stared at Sidney, "Ha, you do? Are you scared to move on Augie? Your face is expressionless like always, but you can be so easy to read sometimes." Sidney laughed, "Anyways, come over tonight, we can have a cheese and wine night and if you want my advice, you should talk to her, you have my blessing." Sidney jokingly said.

I put on a pair of black pants and a white blouse, pulling my brown hair back in a low pony tail. I was getting so used to May cooking food for me, that I have been forgetting to eat most days. Just two weeks and my face looks thinner and a more pale, I need to get my eye glasses re-adjusted, they keep slipping off my face. I put on my black loafers and took the elevator down stairs, letting the girl at the desk know I will be taking my car out tonight. Sidney lives on the other side of the city and lately I have been driving more than I used to, so that night I decided to drive rather than take a cab to her place.

Another cold night, the clouds covered the night sky and the city lights shined down from above. When I got into my car, I took out my phone and called May and to my surprise, she answered.

"May?"

"Augie?"

"I'm sorry May." I said as I started driving to Sidney's house, "I'm sorry I didn't say anything back to you that night." I sighed, "It- it's lonely without you here." 

I heard May giggle through the phone,"I've been waiting for you to call, you know? It's been hard, I was going to tell you but I actually went to my dad's house last week to see him back in Boston. Or else I don't think I would have been able to resist coming to see you for this long."

For some reason, I felt relieved when she told me this, "But you're right, when I first saw you, you reminded me of Daisy. And the first time we kissed, I did think of you as some sort of replacement. But that was before." I sighed, "May I like you, I like you so much and I'm sorry that at first I used you to get over a pathetic unrequited love."

"Augie" May interrupted me, "I want to see you."

I felt my heart start to race, "Where are you?"

"I'm at my apartment."

"I'm coming over."

Without thinking, or perhaps only thinking about one single thing, I turned my car around to the other side of the street. That was when I saw a light and heard a honk, then everything went black.

Here I am again, at the bottom of the deep dark sea. But this time, I can't catch my breathe. I am struggling to breathe, panicking while looking around. Someone seems to be above me, trying to reach their hand out to me.

May? No, an angel? I reach my hand out, why is my hand glowing? I can't reach the person's hand, they are too far. Who is this person? I try to shout at them, but my voice is gone and every time I open my mouth, I feel myself start to suffocate even more. I can feel my body slowly leaving me.

 I am watching myself take this persons hand, but why am I not moving? How am I watching my own self?  I tried to reach out my hand to myself, as I watched me leave with this 'angel', who was floating up to the surface.

How am I up there, when I am also down here?

Is this.. death?