An Unfinished Painting

24- The angel

   Before I knew it, my novel was published. And just as expected, my publisher started calling me off the hook about interviews. My publisher, Nancy, is around the same age as me. She has light pink hair that she recently cut short and always wears a pants suit wherever we go.

"You ready? Oh my god, you need makeup. Someone get makeup on her!" Nancy shouted at one of the backstage workers then looked over at me, "I knew your novel was going to be a hit! Just make sure you smile, don't look so depressing."

"I know." I sat there as one of the back stage girls started doing my makeup, along with someone else brushing my hair from behind me. I could not help but wonder if May would see me on television, but I tried not to get my hopes up. It has been six months and it seems she changed her number. I only know this because I tried calling her to wish her a happy birthday, but it said the line was out of service.

This was a news Chanel as well, what twenty two year old watches the news on a regular basis. I put on a fake smile and went on live with the news anchor. He was a younger gentlemen, only twenty eight years old. After this news Chanel started using him as their anchor, their numbers went up instantly. Which makes sense, he is charming and has a smooth talking voice even when he talks fast.

My novel was fiction, but instead of writing about fairytales like my other two novels, I took a real life approach. Basing my novel off of real life scenarios, truly capturing the hardships of reality.

"Your books really sell well in the LGBTQ Community, There seems to be a trend to all three of your novels, with a lesbian protagonist. I don't think you have ever discussed this in your other interview or rather you avoided the question to what your reasoning for this?"

I was sitting in the high chair next to him at the smallish white table located in front of the camera that is currently recording live. I felt rather calm, a bit too calm. I laughed then slightly turned towards him,

"Mr. Smith" I smiled, "Now, I know you have interviewed other authors before, last time if I am remembering correctly, you had on an author more known for their murder romance genre novels and if I may ask, why is it that you did not ask them as to why they went with a heterosexual protagonist? Why is that Ms. Smith?" I paused for a second, he gave me an awkward look and was about to say something before I went on, "You know, I never wanted my novels to be put in the LBGTQ section of the book store, not that I am shamed of the gay community or anything, rather that just because this novel shows a homosexual relationship, it should automatically be placed in the gay section? When I have worked day and night on this novel, when I have ruined my own romantic relationship because I was too consumed with mentally and physically becoming apart of this novel. I have put too much sweat and tears into this book for it to only recognized because the romance is not between a women and man. My novel should be placed right next to the other best sellers in the fiction section, front and center. Straight or gay, why does this matter so much?" I turned to the camera, "Don't get what I'm saying wrong, I love representing the gay community. But why does it matter so much when it comes to who someone loves?" I smiled, "So no, there was no reasoning behind my thought process of creating my protagonist to be attracted to the same sex."

When we were finally off the air, Nancy came running up to me, "That was a hit! Oh my gosh, what you said caught so many people's attention. You're trending right now!!" She put her phone in my face showing me a tweet that just went viral from a celebrity after watching me talk about my novel, specifically what I said about my protagonist being gay. "They love you!" Nancy smiled. I started walking away but of course, Nancy followed me as she rambled on about something relating to my novel.

I really thought I was going to be more happy about my novel becoming a hit. But I have never felt as alone as I feel now. It is all happening again, but this time there is no coming back. Walking back into my house, seeing the dozens of empty wine bottles staring right at me.