Secrets [m. clifford]

- 21 -

"Grace! I haven't seen you in forever!" Leah yells, running into my room.

"Hey, Leah." I smile.

"I heard from Bec that Michael is a sensitive topic for you, but, is it okay if we maybe talk about it?" She asks, sitting across from me on my bed.

I nod, "It's fine. I just- it's kinda hard, you know? He's always around because of Ashton, and Ashton has no idea I'm going through this."

"Why don't you tell Ashton? Michael can't do anything now."

I sigh, "I want to, but I can't."

"Why not? You're over, you can do what you want, right?" She questions.

"I think there's a part of me that believes we'll get back together." I whisper.

"Grace..." She says, moving next to me and wrapping her arm around me.

"I'm so stupid." I quietly mumble.

"No, you're not. You clearly care about him, and you really like him-"

"I think I love him." I whisper, not looking up at her.

She gasps, "Love? Oh my little baby is in love!"

"Stop..." I whine.

"You and Michael are adorable together and I want you back together so this is good."

"I broke up with him though. I'll look dumb going back to him."

"No, just talk through this stuff with him."

"Leah, I don't know."

"Grace! Grace, I can't do this!" Michael yells, running into my room.

"What?" Leah and I both mutter.

"Oh, hey Leah. Can I talk to you, Grace?" Michael questions, looking at me.

I groan, "You're so lucky my brother isn't home."

"I'll give you some time." Leah quietly says, getting up and leaving my room.

"Grace, oh my god, please tell me you don't hate me."

I sigh, "I don't hate you, I never will."

"You mean so much to me when you said you hated me I-"

I just stand up, and shut him up by pressing my lips to his.

"Never leave me again." He mumbles, holing my face close to his.

"I won't." I whisper. "If, we discuss the reasons we broke up in the first place."

He nods, "I'll talk with you for hours about this, I promise. I'll do whatever to get back together."

"Then starting right now, we're talking."

-

We did talk for a while, but for a while we've just been making out. Michael claims we're 'making up for lost time' even though it's only been a week.

"Ew, gross!" Bec yells, opening my bedroom door.

Michael rolls off me, straight onto the floor and quickly jumps up, trying to act like we weren't doing anything.

"Bec, hey, what's up, I- uh, Michael's here." I quickly say, sitting up and grabbing my shirt from beside me and trying to cover up.

"I would've knocked, I didn't realize he was here or that you're even back together. Sorry, I'll come back later." She mumbles, staring at the ground the whole time.

She quickly leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

Michael clears his throat, and avoids looking at me, clearly feeling awkward about what just happened.

"Uh, Michael? Should we maybe finish talking?" I question, moving so that there's more room for him to sit.

He nods, sitting across from me and finally looking at me.

"Maybe you should put your shirt back on." He chuckles.

I groan, putting my shirt back on and Michael just laughs at me.

"Stop..." I whine.

"You're so cute." He whispers, pulling me close to him.

"So, we're going to talk to Ashton, right?" I question.

He nods, "Yea, we will. I promise you, Grace."

"Not today, but in the next few days." I reply.

"Yea, it'll be okay. He might hate me, but I'll still have you, right?"

"If Ashton understands I really do like you and really does care about me he shouldn't have a problem with it." I reply.

"He's going to have a problem with me, I know it." He mumbles, his lips pressed to the top of my head.

"We'll be okay." I whisper.

He smiles, "I hope so."

"Do you ever think about the future?" I question.

"Where's this coming from?" He asks.

"Because I do. I think about a lot of things I'd like to do." I tell him.

"Do you ever see me if your future?" He questions.

I nod, even though sometimes I don't. I'm not going to tell him that through.

"I think about it a lot, actually, because of the band. I don't know how everything will be in a few years, I try to figure out what my life would be if all of this just stopped. Every time I picture it, I see you though." He quietly says.

When he says that, I feel horrible. I see myself going back to school, I think of myself even farther into the future, with kids, but none of this is necessarily with Michael.

If he pictures me with him, but I don't, it worries me.

-

Michael just left since Ashton should be home soon, so now Becca is in my room.

"Could you have warned me that you were getting back together and that he was going to be here. I wanted to puke when I walked into your room that was disgusting. Why are you with him again anyways?

I roll my eyes at her, "I didn't know he coming over, I think it was kinda obvious I wanted to get back together with him and it's not like I planned on you walking in on us like that."

"What's Ashton going to say? I'm terrified for you!"

"I believe that Ashton will accept us after we talk with him."

"What did you guys even talk about?" She asks.

"About what to say to Ashton. And the future. Both worried me a lot."

"Why worry about the future? You're supposed to live in the moment."

I roll my eyes, "I can't do that."

"Well, you should." She replies, giving me a small smile.

"You're telling me, that you don't think about what you want to or possibly be doing next year?"

She shakes her head, "It doesn't matter to me."

"Can you at least tell me if you picture me and Michael together in the future?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. It'd be cute for you guys. After telling Ashton, if you two are able to keep going, it would be cool to tell your kids that you had a secret relationship."

I sigh, "Now I just have to worry about telling Ashton."

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