Secrets [m. clifford]

- 34 -

"Grace, let me take you out." Michael says, sitting next to me.

"Oh, no. It's okay. Your fans are still making me nervous. I'm sorry." I mumble, cuddling closer to him.

"I understand. I just don't want them to be the reason we can't do anything."

I sigh, "I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay. I love you."

I smile, "I love you."

"I'm taking you out soon, though. Okay?"

Weakly smiling, I nod at him.

"The band is busy all next week, but how about sometime after that?" He says.

That's my last week here.️

"Sure, yes, that's great." I smile.

"You're cute." He says, holding me close.

I'm going to miss this, so much. I need to tell him, and I know that. I'm not ready to, I don't know how I'll ever be ready to.

How could you tell somebody you're in love with that you're moving halfway across the world?

"Grace? What are you thinking about? You look upset?" He questions.

"Oh, nothing. I just want you to know I love you, like, a lot. And nothing will ever change that, I hope you know that." I smile.

He smiles, "You're the most amazing girl I've ever met."

He's so sweet, yet I don't even feel happy.

I can barely feel anything, anymore. Except maybe sadness, sometimes. I feel somewhat numb, all because I'm leaving.

Leaving wasn't meant to be this hard. Everybody was supposed to be really happy, then I'd be really happy.

I just wish things could go the way I wanted them to.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Michael asks, snapping me from my thoughts.

I fake a smile, "I'm fine, babe. Really, I'm okay."

-

Becca has been curled up in my bed for about half an hour now, just sobbing as I pack up more of my things.

It's been hard not breaking down as I pack, but I'm trying to be brave.

"Grace, can you take me with you?"

I sigh, "Bec, I'm sorry..."

Sitting on the edge of my bed, she sits up and wipes her eyes.

She takes deep breaths, trying to calm down, "I'm gonna miss you."

"I know, I'll miss you too."

Once she calms down, I move a little closer to her, "Bec, I wanna ask you something..."

"I didn't do anything wrong."

"What have you been doing with Luke?" I ask, making her quickly look away from me.

"Um, nothing." She mumbles.

"If you're hooking up with him please remember what happened last time-"

"Why are you trying to tell me what to do?"

"I'm just saying... Maybe it isn't the best idea..." I mutter.

"Okay, Ashton."

"Really?"

She rolls her eyes, "Well, I mean, you're telling me to stay away from Luke, so..."

I sigh, "Do you not remember what happened last time? I'm sorry, Bec. It's just- you shouldn't be doing anything with him."

"How are you going to sit here and tell me what to do, when all you did was complain about Ashton doing this?"

"I'm just saying he's maybe not the best person for you. Be careful."

She rolls her eyes, "Are you serious? I can't believe you."

She gets up and leaves, slamming her bedroom door.

"Is she okay?" Ashton asks, standing in my bedroom doorway.

"I'm turning into you." I mutter.

"What happened? Is she okay?"

"I'm not going to tell you, I don't want both of us overreacting. I just feel she's making some ridiculous decisions right now." I reply.

"Because you're leaving..." He mumbles.

"Ashton, it doesn't help when you say that."

"Right, sorry. I can't believe in two weeks my little sister is leaving us." He says, weakly smiling at me.

I sniffle as my eyes fill with tears, "You're a pain in the ass but I'm going to miss you so much."

"Hey, hey, Grace..." He whispers, sitting next to me.

"Um, I'd like to ask you something." I mumble, clearing my throat.

"Of course."

"Take me to Mia's grave? Please." I beg.

"I'll take you now." He says, weakly smiling at me.

"Thanks, Ashton. I know it's hard for you and it's sad but I'd like to visit before I leave." I mumble, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I'd do anything for my sisters, you know that."

-

I lay curled up in bed, crying again, obviously.

My room is so empty now, I don't like it. It's feeling really real now, and I'm not ready.

Leaving wasn't meant to make me so upset.

When there's a knock at my door I quickly try to wipe my eyes and sit up.

"Hey." Bec quietly says, stepping into my room.

I nod, "Bec."

"I heard you and Ashton went to visit Mia."

"We did. I'm sorry for not asking you to come. I wanted to go alone, I wasn't in a good place to be driving so I asked Ashton to spend some time with me and take me there."

She weakly smiles, "No, it's okay."

"Two weeks. I'm going in two weeks." I mumble.

"I'm sorry." She whispers.

"Bec..."

"No. I'm being a total bitch, Ashton had to come lecture me to get me to realize how I'm making you feel." She quietly says, looking at the ground.

"It's okay. I get it. I just want us to enjoy the time we have left, okay?"

"You're gonna do great over there. You know that, right?" She says, giving me a small smile.

"Thanks, Bec. You and Ashton will be fine without me, you know."

She nods, "I guess."

"Let's stop thinking about it. Let's grab Ashton and we'll stay up all night."

She smiles, "I'd love that."

"Hey, Ashton?" Bec calls.

Ashton comes into the room, looking back and forth between me and Bec.

"You're good with spending time with us, right?" She asks.

"Obviously." He chuckles.

"Alright then, let's go."

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this wasn't v good but hey if any of u reading this voted me on those fanfic awards things for my series ur so cute omg ur filling up my notifications I luv y'all