Secrets [m. clifford]

- 35 -

Being able to hold Michael's hand in public still feels weird. I'm still not used to not hiding this.

Michael hasn't stopped smiling the whole time, it makes me really happy. He deserves to be happy.

"I'm glad you're happy, babe." I tell him, smiling as I look up at him.

He chuckles, "I'm very happy, I'm happy you're here with me."

My smile fades slightly and I look down, thinking about how I wont even be here with him next week.

"Michael, after this, we can go back to my place, okay? I have to tell you something later."

"Of course. Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no. It's okay." I reply, forcing a smile onto my face.

I quickly look behind us to see that some fans are still following us, and I sigh.

"Babe, the car is around the corner, I'll wait for you there. Go see your fans, please." I mumble.

We stop walking and he turns to face me, "Grace, are you sure? We're supposed to just spend time together today, I don't have to."

"It's okay. Go see them. It won't take long. I don't need another reason for them to hate me." I smile, quickly pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"They wouldn't hate you for it!" He calls as I start walking.

"But they would!" I giggle as I continue walking towards the car.

When getting to the car I take a deep breath, trying to stay calm.

"It'll be okay, he'll understand. Michael will be fine with this." I whisper to myself.

He will understand, right?

Michael finally gets back to the car, and I smile at him.

"I'm pretty sure they just wanted to see you. I'm not important enough." He chuckles.

I playfully roll my eyes, "Whatever."

By the time we get to my place, I'm completely stressed out, because I really don't want to do this.

"Grace, are you sure you're alright?" Michael asks as we sit on the sofa.

"Um, no, not really..."

"What's wrong?"

I take a deep breath, "I really have to tell you something..."

"Um, okay... What is it?"

"I- I got accepted into university."

"What?! Baby, that's amazing! Why didn't you tell me you applied! Congrats!" He exclaims, hugging me.

When I don't hug back, he pulls away and frowns.

"Grace? What's wrong?"

"I'm leaving." I choke out.

"What?"

"I'm going to England next week." I whisper, trying my best to not let tears fall.

"You're leaving? But- so you didn't apply here? You're voluntarily leaving? I- I-"

"I'm so sorry."

"I don't know what to say. We have one last week together before you leave? That's it? Grace, why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I couldn't tell you because I didn't want to face the fact that I'm leaving." I choke out, just above a whisper.

"How... How could you?"

"What?"

"How could you so this? Did you apply so far away purposely? Are you trying to tell me something? Why didn't you fucking tell me?"

"No, I-"

"Grace, I love you, I fucking love you. Did I do something? I'm trying so hard here-"

"Michael. I love you, I'm just trying to do something for myself. I want to put myself before anybody else. My happiness matters too."

"So you'll be happy without me? Great. Just great."

"Baby..." I choke out.

"I- I'm sorry. I have to go. Goodbye, Grace." He says, standing up.

"Michael..."

"I'm sorry." He whispers as he leaves.

"What?" I mumble to myself.

This is why putting other people first is easier. If I just decided to do the easier thing that would make everybody else happy wouldn't hurt me this much.

Why did I do this?

Why did I think this was a good idea? Nobody's happy for me, they're all upset, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.

As I'm walking up to my room Ashton sees me crying and pulls me into my room.

"What did he do to you, Grace? I'll kill him and you know that. Where is he-"

"Ashton! I'm fine! Please leave him alone, it's my fault anyways. You can't blame it all on Michael."

"I'm so sorry."

"I didn't think it would go like this. I didn't think he'd just walk away like that." I sob, holding onto him tightly.

"Hey, it's okay. Shh... He's going to get over it, he will. Grace, he loves you. I know that now. He really does love you." He whispers.

"I know. I love him so much. I know it's weird for you and I'm really sorry but I do love him. I don't want things to end this way."

"Nothing is ending. I'll kill him if he ends things. I'm not letting him hurt you, okay?"

I sniffle, pulling away from him, "Why would you kill him for finally not dating me? You hate us together."

"But I hate seeing you upset even more. I'd hate having Michael upset too." He says, a small smile on his lips.

"You're confusing. But thanks for always being here, and wanting the best for me. Even though it gets really annoying sometimes."

He chuckles, "I just never want you guys to get hurt."

I weakly smile, "You're the best."

"Hey, I'm your brother. I'm here for you." He says, smiling back at me.

"Brothers are meant to be mean. I don't know why you're always trying so hard with us."

"Hey, Grace. Come on. Why don't we just go hang out with Bec, okay? Let's just... Go."

---------------------

ugh. idk.

I'm back tho. exams are over. hey.

also nobody reads/votes/comments anymore so I'm assuming its shitty lol um there's like two chapters left and an epilogue.

bye.