~Anidita~ of Love and Desire

SS:2 Part:5

It was raining outside when Anirudh walked out of the attached bathroom situated in his bedroom. The windows were open and drops of rain water were falling in. He looked towards Bondita who laid asleep in his arms. He remembered how she pleaded him to stop hurting her earlier. He never wished to hurt her. But it was her who made him what he is today. She snatched away from him not only herself, but his everything too. He had stopped when she came on his fingers, crying.

So, there's a pleasure in pain too.

He had thought.

He placed her gently on his bed before proceeding towards the open windows. The rumbling of thunder subsided as he closed the windows. Anirudh's eyes stared at the raining sky.

She used to love rain.

He talked to himself in his mind. Drawing the curtains, he walked to his bed and laid on his side of it.

Why, mishti?

He asked while staring at the woman sleeping beside him. He didn't ask the question out loud, for he knew she could not hear. The tears threatened to fall off. It seemed that the thunderstorm outside had found a home in his heart. He knows what he's doing is wrong. He's doing the one thing he never thought he would do, he is hurting her. She used to be his precious. He once treasured her like his life resided in her.

Until the day she made him see the world as it is; he believed that if it is love that he spreads, it will also be love that is returned to him. Albeit he tried his best to have turned out to be right, but she, who once meant the world to him, proved him wrong in the end.

But was it really the end?

Yes it was.

It was the end of the Anirudh who loved her more than what the word love itself could ever describe. It was the end of the fairytale he was living with her, the end of the game she was playing with him. It was the end of her Rudh and his mishti.

Her betrayal to him brought this disastrous end.

He despised her for what she had done to him. But wasn't he becoming what he hated? She hurt him. He was hurting her now. He was doing what she did to him. The thought made his heart ache. He didn't want to be this monster. He is not what he is pretending to be.

But this monster that he had summoned into himself, and what it was making him do; it all gave him a strange relief. Her pain hurt him and also soothed the longing in him. He was yearning for revenge all this time, how could he not relish in the satisfaction her pleadings gave him? Howbeit, this one part of him that belonged to her, that yearned for her, was hurting with her. Her Rudh that resided in his monstrous form begged him every second to stop. He could neither listen to him, nor could he turn a deaf ear to him.

As impossible as it would sound, Barrister Anirudh Roy Chowdhury was falling apart. And there is no certainty that he could be saved.

Author's note: henlo. Yeah I'm alive.

This chapter focuses on showing Anirudh as what he is, a human being. The original character is definitely a gem, but he's still a mere human. He is allowed to make mistakes, he is allowed to feel emotions that are seemingly wrong, like the relief he feels on hurting Bondita in the story. However crazy that might sound, but when we, humans, go through betrayals and such sort of things in life, we do turn bitter to the person who betrayed us or to people in general. Of course there can always be exceptions, but exceptions are rare. Please don't hate the character of Anirudh in the story. Characters in fiction are also inspired from reality and reality is sometimes unpleasant, even scary.

Also, it's a short update cause y'all are also getting a new book to read. Please show some love, thank you!