Onism

Chapter 4: A Life Worth Living

I am five years old now. Mentally speaking however I am 22.

My parents have been acting weird. My father looked like he was going to faint yesterday and my mother wakes up puking buckets worth. It is disgusting. However I am not stupid, I remember when my other mother had been pregnant with Oliver. I am... Nervous.

I remember sweet baby Oli's small little hand gripping mine while he stared at me with the biggest blue eyes imaginable. He was beautiful, his very presence had made my life more.

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"Lucy come on! Come play with me! Leave those books alone please! For me?"

Oliver looked at me with frustration and boredom. He was ready to throw a fit. I didn't understand at the time why my parents catered to his every need. He just appeared in my life and the spotlight moved from me to him. I was jealous with rage settled in the edge of my mind. My parents words ringing in my head.
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"Set a good example for Oliver young lady! As his older sister you need to show how mature you are."
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His presence was like a spot that itched but I could never reach. Annoying.

"No! I've told you enough! I don't wanna play with you! Your annoying!"
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We'd both been young and stupid. Both similar in age, enough for us to clash in the same areas of life. However as we grew we learned to appreciate one another.
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" H-Hey slow down! How the heck are you so good!"

I squealed, looking beyond annoyed however there was no true bite behind em' anymore. I don't know how it came to be but the jealousy in my vains had long since evaporated. I treated him with fond annoyance.

" Bah! Sore loser! Drown in awe at my pure awesomeness!"

Oli raved at me as he spammed a button on his controller. Turtle shells flew towards my Mario kart character. I was knocked down to ninth place, I had been in 3rd. The smug little snot.

The sound commenced, the words finished playing across the screen. Oli's character drifting across screen in a cute pink cat car. Uggghhh I sucked at video games.

"WOOOOOOOO GET OWNED! LULU!!!! LONG LIVE OLIVER THE GREAT!"

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As we grew we found certain areas in life we both enjoyed, we'd talk about the topics for hours. Making stupid theories that we knew couldn't be true but nonetheless tried to prove.

" I'm telling you Oli, Voldemort is definitely Harry Potter's dad!"

"You take that back! We both know that's not true! It literally states James Potter as his father!"

"Nonono you see innocent child it's not like that! J. K Rowling wants us to think like that, however it's more like James was the mom and Voldemort was the dad! Magic is amazing, I'm sure there's a way for men to pop out a baby! That's why Harry looks like James so much! Or maybe James asexualy reproduced!!! "

"Harry has green eyes stupid! Your theories have no traction!"

"Yes they do! Harry's a parslemouth after all!"

"He got that from the hocrux obviously!"

"Wait hold on... What if James, lily, and Voldemort are all his parents! A threesome possibly? "

"Stooooopp your making me cry-"

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We'd chatter on for hours about things that would never further us in our futures.
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Nostalgia gripped my core as memories flashed behind my eyes. I missed Oli dearly. I wonder how's he's doing? I remember that system telling me It'd only been a day there when I'd been trapped in the Nowhere. Maybe time runs differently here to? I may never know but I guess that's how the world works. We see so little in our lives, even when people die old they see so little. I'd like to see more, I'd like to see it all.
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Two purple threads pulled at one another, one breathed for sanctuary while the other breathed for freedom.

It was to bad one was stronger than the other. Maybe he would of survived.
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I'd only been 17 in my past life. I'd been in my last year of high school. I'd worked up through my life with the idea I'd one day leave education to become something greater. Maybe a skrink, I'd always liked giving advise to people and making them be the best they could be. I'd also had wanted to be a Cafe owner, maybe a barista who'd dramatically make drinks. Maybe I had once wanted to be a roller-coaster tester, I'd always loved the flush of adrenaline that turned my skin pink in adoration.
Lucinda is Vanya but Vanya is not Lucinda. I'd like to live the life she never got to. Vanya will live his life however he wants to, passion burning in his blood. The adrenaline taking his breathe away and turning his cheeks a pretty pink. The affection and baked goods he'd give towards his loved one's, making his heart skip beats.
Yes. This is the life Vanya Mikhailovich wishes to live, protecting his loved ones just as he had in his past life. He does not regret what he did for his Oli.
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"Vanya, come say hello to your new baby brother."

Galina huffed, short breaths of air leaving her mouth and sweat rolling down her flushed flesh.

I walked over to her at a slow pace glancing nervously at the swaddled baby rested against her bosom. The baby was tiny, looking oh so fragile.
Roman leaned over behind me to get a peek at the small bundles face.
"He's... Cute."

I decided on saying to calm the anxiety that clawed at my stomach and quail the tears that burned behind my eyes.
"Very precious indeed."

Roman stated behind me in a soft whisper.
The baby had a lock of black hair curling over his forehead, his eyes squinted close and his flesh pink from birth. A small birthmark in the shape of a teardrop hung under one of his eyes.
"We wanted to ask you what you wanted to name him."

Galina whispered into the quiet atmosphere.

Oliver's name burned on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to say his name so bad. To be able to continue saying his name with a tenderness only he would hear. But this is not Oli. This is not my Olive tree. This is something new and I will not treat him as a replacement.

My teeth chewed on the insides of my cheeks. My outside expression remaining calm no matter how much I wanted to shatter like glass and sob how grateful and generous they were to me. Ugghhh I don't deserve this family.
What name would suit this child? Nicholai? Ivan? Igor? Artyom? Lev? Andrei?

How about......