𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐥𝐞 | beomryu

2.25

After getting home from school today, I went straight to my bedroom. I didn't even bother to turn on the lights or anything. I laid on my bed in the dark room. The tears eventually stopped, probably because there was no more.

"Are you okay, baby?" I heard Beomgyu's small whisper. He's been keeping his distance from me since we got home.

"Yes, I'm fine," I responded. I suddenly felt the bed sink in. I could tell Beomgyu got into bed next to me. I don't even have the energy to deal with this today.

"Do you want to talk?"

"No," I said, scooting away from him.

"Okay."

The room went silent. However, I could still feel his presence. "Are you not going to leave?"

"No. You shouldn't be alone."

"I want to be alone, Beomgyu."

"No, you don't." He whispered. "You wouldn't have wished for me if you wanted to be alone."

I let out an annoyed sigh before turning onto my side so I could see him with more clarity. "I didn't wish-" I froze. His gaze was so intense it startled me. He suddenly grabbed my hand, and all I could do was just break down.

Immediately, his arms surrounded me, pulling me closer, tucking my head against his shoulder, under his cheek. My heart began to skip a beat, and my cheeks began to warm up.

The warmth enveloped me, and the tears were starting to stop. I felt myself relaxing for the first time on this miserable day.

Beomgyu's hands began stroking the back of my hair. I found myself cuddling up to him more. A sudden feeling of peace swept over me.

My brain was telling me to move, but my body was frozen. After a moment, I closed my eyes, my heart racing as I entwined our fingers.

Words were suddenly spilling out of my mouth. "My mom used to hug me like this. After my dad left, I used to cry a lot at night." I let out a sniffle. "My mom would hug me. She'd ask what it would take for me to stop crying. Then I'd ask her to bring dad back."

"Did he ever come back?"

"No. I was too young to understand why my dad left. My mom would just say, 'We don't need him anymore,' I learned to stop asking."

"Do you resent him now?"

"No. I resent myself. I make people leave."

"That's not true."

"First, I made my dad leave, then Yeonjun. My mom is never around. It's only about time you leave me too."

"I'm not going anywhere, Ryujin."

I really wish I could believe that. But there's no way this will ever last forever. The truth is, I need Beomgyu. I want to keep him near me. I want to cuddle like this every night. I've gotten too attached after I told myself not to.

Nothing ever lasts forever.

I never knew I enjoyed physical touch until he came around. I never knew what it felt like to be cared for and cherished.

Many minutes passed as a sweet silence surrounded us. For the first time, I just let myself enjoy the feeling of being held by someone. The world seemed so far away, and Beomgyu's breathing and heartbeat soothed me. He wasn't making any noise at all. I tilted my head up to look at him. His eyes were closed.

"Beomgyu..." I whispered, thinking he had fallen asleep.

"Still here." He whispered back while holding me closer.

He kissed the top of my forehead and continued to rub my back. I would have shoved him away, but this felt nice. My eyes soon began to close.

I hope this miracle lasts forever.

© -midzyspider