Pretty lies

six- pizza and doughballs

Isadora Rose:

Today is the day I have been dreading. It's her funeral today. Mi abuela always joked that her funeral would be an event like no other and I didn't expect anything less from her.

She was a very extravagant woman. Despite her shitty upbringing, she always taught my siblings and I to have high standards for our lives. I pray that I honour that teaching.

I have worn the exact same dress for every funeral I have been to in the past three years. It's a simple black dress that comes down to my knees.

The kids did not take the news well when I told them so I doubt that the funeral will be easy for them. I will cope.

I have to do a speech. I have to stand in-front of god knows who ,with tears running down my face, while talking about my dead grandmother. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Silvia and Amaya have been angels to me through out this whole thing. They held me when I cried and wiped the tears. They brought pizza and didn't forget the dough balls. I couldn't have been given better friends.

"Hey kiddos, are you ready to do this." I can see them all hesitating but they still nod in response.

Rico grabs onto my hand as we exit the apartment to get into my car. The car ride was silent. No one knew what to say but that was alright.

It didn't take long for us to arrive. I took one final look in my mirror ; checking my mascara hadn't run anymore.

Every where I look there i people I do not recognize. They are all dressed in fine, tailored suits and dripping in jewels. A voice stops me from further observing my surroundings.

"You must be Isadora. I am Lucia, I was a friend of your grandmother's." The woman in-front of me was so elegant and poised in her actions. She looked flawless.

"Oh, well it's nice to me you." How are you meant to respond to that.

"I am so sorry for your loss. You
must be heartbroken." She is correct. I am heartbroken. I am frustrated and scared of what will happen next.

Stage two- anger

"Yeah, you too. Uh, how did you know my grandmother again?"

"It was work related." She replied very quick and clear. That was weird.

I eventually lead the kids away from the woman and into the church. Mi abuela was a very religious woman. She loved everything about religion and belief yet she never forced it on any of us. It's the little things that make you realize how considerate a person truly is.

I didn't feel present for most of the funeral until I heard my name mentioned.

"Now we will be hearing from Sofia's granddaughter, Isadora Rose." The priest introduced me in a monotone voice. I mean he couldn't have been less interested in this funeral.

Rico slowly lets go of my hand and allows me to walk up to the podium, speech in hand.

I look down at the piece of paper on the podium and back up to the guests. Fuck a script. I fold the piece of paper back up and slide it into my jacket pocket.

"My name is Isadora, I was- I am Sofia's granddaughter. I don't want to say was in this speech or in a general conversation if it's about my grandmother. If I say was, that means I have to accept the fact that she is dead. My grandmother always hated sappy shit like this, so I'm not gonna be like that," I struggle to hold back tears as I see my siblings begin to cry as well, "I don't really believe in life after death, like some people do, because that would mean that this one is pointless. She was not pointless. My grandmother is a beautiful soul with an amazing mind. She brought light to dark and made the most miserable moments seem incredible."