Pretty lies

twenty four- mistake

Alessandro Marino:

Tristan told me what was going on with her and honestly, I can't imagine what she must be going through. This world is a lot to take in. Everyone has blood on their hands and they are shameless about it.

As an outsider looking in, it is terrifying and insane. Isadora can never just be an outsider. This has been her life since the day she was born but she has only just realised it.

"I don't know how you are feeling right now. I can never understand the pain you are suffering with but that doesn't mean I can't ease it. I can give you the answers you want and I bring those kids back home to you, safe and sound. I'm not going to stand here and act like I don't care because I do." I announce proudly as tears pool in her beautiful brown eyes.

"This is a scary time for you so I'm not going to leave you like this. I will help you as much as you want me to ,but if you ever say you don't want this then I will stop. I can stop."

In that moment, we are two people corrupted by this cruel world. We look at each other with pain in our eyes and marks on our pride. None of us want this life yet we have to. We have to want it because there is no way out of it, alive at least.

"Did you know about me when we met?" I knew what she meant by that. Did I know what her fate was?

"Yes." I answer truthfully.

"Are you in this?" The mafia.

"Yes, but we aren't in the same one." I can tell by the expression coating her face that she didn't know there were more of us.

"Am I in this?" That hurt. Hearing her say those words in that tone with tears daring to pour. It shouldn't hurt but it does. Oh, it fucking does.

"I'm so sorry." With that her hand flies up to her mouth, muffling her cries. She doesn't deserve this life and we both know it. There is no way you can prepare someone for that kind of realisation.

My arms wrap around her shoulders, pulling her into my chest. Her reluctance slowly fades away as her hands snake around my waist, keeping us close.

I whisper apologies into her ear as her tears wet my shirt. Her knees threaten to buckle before I tighten my grip on the weeping woman in-front of me. The world around me went quiet in this moment. I have never allowed myself to get this close to someone, let alone Isadora Rose.

There was something that brought us together, something magical. The feelings I have for her are the type you read about. It is the care Jack had for Rose, it is the affection Noah had for Allie.

We have a passion for one another that is past just sex. I know that if I spend one more night with her, it can never be just sex with Isadora. She deserves better than me but I couldn't stay away from her even if I tried.

"I'm sorry. I've come to your home crying and you don't even know me-" she tries to explain ,but I don't want an explanation.

"I do know you Isadora Rose."

"We had sex a couple times. Beyond that, what do you know about me?"

"I know that you hate birds because they can walk, swim and fly ,so you get freaked out whenever you go to a park. I know that you don't like children under the age of six because you think they are annoying. I know that your favourite colour is red even though you hardly ever wear red things. I know that your favourite book is The Alchemist despite the fact that you haven't finished the book." Her mouth is agape as I spill out all of the things she has told me over time. If I told her every little detail I picked up on, we would be here until the day we die.

"I know that when you get nervous you play with that cheap ass ring on your middle finger. I know that you don't like people taking pity on you so you never tell people how you truly feel. I know a whole lot about you so you don't you dare doubt for even a second how I feel about you."

Neither of us said a word in response. There was an uncomfortable silence between us as we look into each other's eyes, searching for an answer.

"I don't know what to say." Neither do I.

"Tristan should be around somewhere. He'll take you to your room." I say before I leave the conversation, not waiting for you to respond. I don't know why I now feel frustrated or upset. I don't know how I'm feeling and it's really starting to piss me off.

The room I stand in feels very empty now I am not in her presence. The air feels colder and my chest tightens. I don't like it when I'm not near her. It's lonely, really fucking lonely.

I think I made a mistake by taking her drink at the bar. I think I made another mistake by sleeping with her that same night. If we hadn't met, I wouldn't be so weak. Maybe I would even have more control over my emotion.

Before Isadora, I was cold and merciless. I was the man that was feared for miles. After- no. Something inside me doesn't like the idea of there being an after Isadora. A voice screams in my head, scolding my choice of words.

I don't want there to be an after but ,at the same time, there can't be a with. If I let her get closet, I can never be the man I was made to be. I will be the man she made. Is that really such a bad thing?